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a dream, this is a dream
never let me fall asleep
or don't wake me
here to stay or here not at all
a dream,
i wasn't meant to see?
something pushing me out
something pulling me in

in this dream

of a little boy who i could hardly see
as he enfolded himself in between layers of sight and night
he turned away
as dimly lit shadows sharpened the blue tinted curves of his bare shoulders
as sorrow dipped thick and heavy in his collar bone
and anger stuttered on the trembles of his skin with
vulnerability in the irregular patterns of his breath


the clench of a strong jaw line and the corners of his mouth dry and weighted
black thick hair clumping damp and silent,

I fall backwards to the perspective of someone near by close to tears
and full of a clashing heart

reaching for his straining wrist he turns and falls on me
alseep and screaming into me as my arms lock him in

i spill out of this view and with now the perspective of
a pair of hands he whispers something inaudible and uncontainable

counting the steps of his spine and sifting with his breath
with sputtering fingertips and the feel of cold steel and aged silk
something is being felt said and even loved

breaking from the perspective
with the feeling of something left half broken and under an old rug
I missed
a meaning a understanding and translation of empty spaces

something slipped like a name forgotten and a face left floating
in the fuzzy loss of messy memories

one last time I saw him

this time he lay on his bed waking up..


as I woke up... I wondered if he was cold and
where it was he left his blanket.

i woke up wondering why she was cold
wondering why she was so scared..