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Verse 1
Let me introduce you to my little home
It's usually dark year round
I live where it's quiet, but the sun always shines
And at night you can hear the sound
Of crickets chirping, and the trains passing
And the water crashing up on shore
You know that I love it, and I'd rather not leave it,
Though my friends think that it's creepy for sure

Prechorus
My girl friends tell me "You'll never get a boyfriend!"
My boy friends tell me, "You'll never get laid!"
Well, I just tell them that I'm alright with that.

Chorus
So welcome to my bat cave
Yes, you'r welcome to my bat cave
That's right, welcome to my bat cave
Welcome to my little home

I live on the outskirts where the marshes meet the sea
The insides of the city were a bit too much for me
And I've gotta tell you, I really love it here
(rest for eight counts)
My home's always open to friends and acquaintances
Who need a place to stay that isn't too high maintenance
In spite of the place reminding them of "Titties and Beer"
Or any other country song, like "Dueling Banjos"

Prechorus
My girl friends tell me "You'll never get a boyfriend!"
My boy friends tell me, "You'll never get laid!"
Well, I just tell them that I'm alright with that.

Chorus
So welcome to my bat cave
Yes, you'r welcome to my bat cave
That's right, welcome to my bat cave
Welcome to my little home

Bridge
I'm starting to wonder if my friends are onto something
My house got broken into, and the police wouldn't come
They said that it simply wasn't convenient for them
Since the marshes spread a mile long,
My lights are always off
They would have to walk a while
But I'd never see the cops
And in the end, the point is moot
My stuff is gone, there's no more loot
So, I know what I've gotta do

Chorus
I've gotta sell my Bat Cave
Yeah, I'm gonna sell my Bat cave
That's right, you're welcome to my Bat Cave
Welcome to my former home