Alright, Whisperingsorrow, you may be seated.
Mr. Judgebot? Yes, Mr. Sorrow? Can I go to the bathrooooom? Uh… yes. Yes, of course. Whee~. :scurries off.: The defense may now call its next witness.
Our next witness is not present at this point in time. What, then where is he?!
Badda bing, badda boom! Here he is, your Honor. We call Secret Sadness to the stand.
What?! Your Honor, this is an outrage! Whisperingsorrow obviously changed to a mule when in the bathroom! They both have buck teeth and fall hair and the username’s are definite synonyms! No, no, no, I can see the difference. Gawsh, Prosecutionbot, get on the ball, would ya? Anyway, if you would please state your designation and occupation for the court records, please. I am Secret Sadness, better known as Whispy Secretty. I am the majority stock holder of G-Corp and Bucho’s secret lover. Oh, give me a break.
<3 Please announce to the court and jury your designation on the night of the speculated arson. The night of the party I found Bucho and he took me back to the lab, where we had our own little celebration, and then he left when he said there was something he needed to take care of, but that he’d be back. I waited for him until the fire broke out, and then fled on my own. Did you ever see humanoid Ian in the laboratory? I witnessed some badly dressed loser running about at one point, yes. Was he carrying any lighter fuel, or natural substance, like wood? No, all he had was a bottle of pills or something, and it didn’t look like it could be used to start a fire. OBJECTION! The witness has not been sworn in as an expert on fire or combustion. Trust me, I’m an expert on things that are flaming. <3 Sustained either way, as you were not sworn in as an expert. End questioning sequence. The prosecution may now cross-examine. Hi Prosecutionbot. <3 … Please start your questioning, Prosecutionbot. Yes, well. You say you are the majority stockholder of G-corp, hmm? My, I wasn’t aware G-corp was a publicly traded company! Well I wasn’t aware that Prosecutionbots had menstrual cycles. BURN! Hmph, well then! Mr. ‘Sadness’, would you please us what exactly it was you and Bucho were engaging in the laboratory, hmm? Stuff. Stuff, hmm? What kind of stuff?! Stuff. Oh, yes, yes, stuff! Well, Mr. Sadness, I just so happen the security tapes which will show us exactly what kind of stuff you were engaged in!Security tapes submitted to evidence as Exhibit C.
Security tapes roll.
Security tapes roll.
Woah. So what they say about big hands IS true! I’ve never seen ANYONE handle their joystick that well! 3nodding cool So you don’t deny that this is real footage, taken at the Halloween party?! Well-- Hmm, looking a bit suspicious, now, aren’t we?! How on earth are we to believe that somehow you saw a desperate man run by without any sort of fuel for a fire run by when it was painstakingly obvious that you were just a wee bit too busy playing Super Smash Bros. Melee with Bucho?!! Well-- Hmm?! Because-- HMM?!! Because I saw the guy after Bucho left? talk2hand …Oh. cool …No further questions, your honor. Indeed. Your honor, the prosecution would like to request a recess. Hmm, and why is this? Because I would like to cry alone. 
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