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This is nothing important, just musings...
I've been thinking about and researching homosexuality a lot today. All thanks to Coming Out Day. This in turn makes me review my own sexuality. It's just an interesting subject to think about...for me anyway. I guess I'm just a complex person. Of course, most people are. They just don't realize it. One of my many habits is simply looking at myself. I love to simply pull myself apart, to dissect my behaviors, thoughts, ideas, everything. So today I was just really looking at my sexuality. And while I'm 100% comfortable with my sexuality I found it interesting to think of how I react to certain genders. Some Pansexuals claim to be gender-blind, and while I wish this could be true for me, it's not. I see gender. I believe there's a huge difference between gals and guys. But, at the same time, I don't see any difference. Outside physically. Sometimes I think I may be better off a boy. I've actually given this hard thought. But really, for now, I'm content being female. This leads me to an interesting question I was asked recently. Because of my sexuality, I was asked if I prefer to be called he or she. At the time, I simply said I generally go by she and her. But now that I've thought about it, I realize I change regularly. At times I feel more like a guy and at these time I want nothing more than to be male. At other times I love being female; I love being a girl. If it were possible, I'd ask them to go based off how I'm acting. I don't care anymore. Call me what you wish. I am what I am and what I am is me. Call me he, she, it, that, whatever. I don't care. I embrace my androgyny. It's freeing really. And amusing. It's hilarious to watch a server try to figure out if he should call you ma'am or sir. Cracks me up every time. Anyway, I started this to get to one point. My reactions to different genders. I've realized now that boys/guys/men/whatever, are more attractive to me physically. Guys are ********' hot. Yet I crave female partners. In an actual relationship, such as the one I'm in now, I need the sensitivity that comes from a feminine being. I need to protect. I need to comfort, and support. In a relationship, I need to be a guy. Otherwise it just won't work. When it comes to anything else, transgenders, hermaphrodites, etc. it's the same way. I don't care what you were born as, or what extra parts you have. It's what's inside that really counts. Eye candy for me is pretty much pretty boys. I don't generally like the rugged, manly men. I like feminine boys. Ones with delicate features and a gentleness in their eyes. When it comes to women, I find myself attracted to the 'cute' ones. The ones with big brown eyes and that oh so sweet smile. The ones who don't dress like whores and the ones who blush when you compliment them. Now I'm rambling. I'm just going to stop now, before I end up saying something stupid.
So, That's all for now
~Wyn
---I like it when you're watching me, you grind your teeth---
----I like it when we're up against the wall----
---I like when you talk to me, you still say 'Please'---
----And the way you can't say 'No'----
 Rose_Wynters · Sat Oct 10, 2009 @ 07:43am · 0 Comments |
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