Tears filled my eyes, and spilled out. I wiped them away bitterly. I didn't want him to see me cry. I could practically feel my whole world crashing down around me. How could things have gone so wrong? I wondered, as I stared at the boy who stood opposite me.
He was a larger boy, well built, and twice my size. A natural teddy bear. And that was part of the reason why I was so intrigued by him. He was new, unknown, and uncharted. No one had ever dared to face this giant, gentle as he was. I decided to learn more about this boy and was gladdened by what I found. He was not what he seemed. On the surface he was the 'gangsta' type, tough and headstrong. But underneath all his layers of protection, I discovered a thinker, a caring person, and more importantly- a friend. I believe he trusted me, even if it was just a little bit. And now, I had screwed it all up.
You know, if I was not certain that this whole mess was my fault, I would blame it all on my friend. She was the one who told him. And I have every right to blame her. But I don't. Especially, considering what she had told him was not a lie. I had said I hated him. Just because I was mad, I risked the whole friendship and trust we had built. I was an idiot; too wrapped up in my own life to consider his feelings. I was a fool, and now he was getting his revenge. The hurt in his eyes tortured me, and I could not escape. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw his face, and the angry expression he put on when I tried to apologize. He hung out with his friends; I talked with mine. We acted like we didn't know each other; like we were total strangers. Sometimes, when my eyes met his, he would act like he was about to say something, to ease my own pain, but before he could, I looked away. I was too afraind of what he might say. Did I think he would reject me? Absolutely. Was I afraid of getting hurt? You bet. I had made him feel like dirt, and would understand if he wanted to beat every ounce of life out of me. But he didn't. He just stayed silent- ignoring me. And that made my pain so much harder to bear.
I could see the pity reflected in his eyes now- like he hadn't meant to make me cry. I wanted to scream at him and make him weep for what he did to me. Thanks to him, my life was in shambles. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat without seeing his face, before me. But I stayed silent. For some reason, I believed that there was nothing I could say that would make him feel worse than he already did.
Taking in a shaky breath, I turned around and ran. And ran, and ran, and ran. I could hear him calling for me...yelling at me to come back. I ignored his pleas, too angry to even look back at the boy I had so wrongly betrayed. I knew it was all my fault, and just that mere fact tore my heart apart.
Now, as I stare at my swollen teary eyes in the mirror, I once again wonder, How could things have gone so wrong?
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