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GAH, MUST FREE MIND, DROWNING IN AN ENDLESS SEA OF DRUNKARDNESS AND STUPIDITY!
There are too many ******** kids at this goddamned ridiculous party
The music blows
I can't play my games because the damn kids and their parents apparently forgot that tomorrow is a Monday...a work day,
Then again I doubt have of these lowlifes own a job,
I'm a lowlife as well but at least I don't drink myself retarded like the rest
The music is ridiculous, some of the worse 80's and 90's s**t, s**t I'VE EVER HEARD
I'M GOING INSANE HERE
I have such a migraine
They’re all annoying,
All my family members are alcoholics, drinking themselves into oblivion. if they all died by kidney and liver failure, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised, I can't even enjoy the items I’ve received for x-mas because of this ridiculous party
AND I HATE ALL THIS GODDAMNED MUSIC!
IT’S THE WORST MAKE OUT MUSIC FROM THE 80'S AND 90S, IT’S DRIVING ME THE ******** INSANE OH MY ******** GOD. THE KIDS WON'T SHUT THE ******** UP, AND ALL OF THIS IS PUSHING ME TO THE PROVERBAL EDGE, THE NOISE, OMFG THE NOISE, IF I WERE TO GO DEAF AT THIS MOMENT I WOULD THANK GOD FOR AN HOUR...
then be pist off for the rest of my life...meh, seems like any ordinary day but this is ridiculous
I tried to lie down on my bed because of my exhaustion from cleaning the living room, cleaning the bathroom, sweeping the living room, and the bathroom, washing dishes several times, making sure all the little kids are appeased, assembling an arcade unit that only has 5 frickin games! omg, it's such a waist of time! And now I’m tired and it’s going on 12 o'clock
I can't do anything
my mind is wandering I can't even remember what happened in the last half hour, all I remember is the rage and anger, I just want it all to end, this is not meant for me, I am not the "partying type" who enjoys the drunken annoyance of one another
I will never be like them
NEVER
I’d rather have my soul engulfed in the eternal flames of hell, any pain is better then this
I wish I could put my head in a vice and twist the nossle until the misery would end...that'd be my sweetest dream...
...
..Speaking of dreams, all I could dream about was Michelle from camp...probably because I’ve been going through my camp photo album...I was so happy then...no ignorance...no arguing......no obeisant stupidity...well...considering I was in the boys dorm...there was bound to be stupidity but its no where near the level here...I’m always stressed out here...I have about 20 gray hairs now...all from stress
my hopes of suicide have been thwarted by Tony Dungy's son, realizing how devastating it would be, I’d be better off a runaway...except I have no where to run to
I’m bound by my pathetic existence to this wretch hole...
Nothing can ease this overwhelming anger growing in my heart...I wish people would be considerate of me, I try to be considerate of others
Instead they walk all over me, I'm sick of it, SICK OF IT.
I want respect like everyone else but when I mention it, they bring up how they're a) older b) have a job or c) spent more money on me.
RESPECT IS NOT ABOUT MONEY
IT IS NOT ABOUT ECONOMICAL INCOME
IT IS NOT ABOUT A CREDIT CARD
IT’S THE GENIUNE UNDERSTANDING OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY PLIGHTS, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY FRUSTRATION, and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY EMOTIONAL PAINS...
I close myself off from the world because the world is filled with assholes, and I hate assholes. I occasionally find people of a similar level as myself...usually some of the worst people with the worst self esteem you could imagine, I wish sometimes.....I’d disappear, to see how they'd feel for neglecting me. As a child my parents would always leave to go buy drugs, leaving me home alone... they'd go back to their room and smoke the marijuana......
******** substance abusers...
.......probably why I have so many issues today...
I hate my life....
 NekuraKuma · Mon Dec 26, 2005 @ 05:35am · 0 Comments |
