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I hate pain,
Not my own,
But others.
I see how the agony flashes across their faces
And it tears my heart apart.
I hate not being able to do anything.
Fear haunts my every move around them.
Did I hurt them?
Oh, please let it not be my fault!
I cater to their every whim,
And yet I feel as if I have done nothing to help.
Blanket? Meds? Drink?
help? ...for me...?
Help me please God to understand their pain.
Why do you punish so?
For you hurt not just physically,
But you damn the emotions of those who love.
I wish I was the one hurt, alone...
So my pain would not hurt my friends.
I love to play around.
I love to scare and joke.
But I just want you not to care...
Don't care - but do...
I contradict and do not know.
I can't understand...
Why you love me so?
Why am I SO damn special?
And even though I try to be cold,
I try to be indifferent and focused,
I can't help but care!
I care so much it hurts...
You before me, always!
Why should I come first?
When your pain is what hurts me and not my own
Why can't you let me protect you?
Why do you protect me?