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[color=indigo]Thinking Too Much[/color] |
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I keep thinking about my now ex boyfriend and then at the same time I remember what a jerk he is. I tend to think about the good times we had together and then remember the bad. I did nothing wrong to end our togetherness. He may not have been my first love, but he was a love of mine. He was so sweet and handsome and just so perfect. He was known as TDH, which means: Tall, Dark, and Handsome. He told me he loved me almost everyday, and everytime we were about to get off of the phone. I thought we'd never break-up. He said himself that we'd never break-up. What happened to us? I was the wifey. I was his baby, his one and only. But now I have to move on, it's so hard though because almost every good guy out there is taken by a lucky girl. I will go on and live my life to the fullest and leave this once perfect but now jerkish guy out of my mind, body, soul, and mainly thoughts. I think too much, I have to move on and be happy. He may be gone, but that doesn't mean I have to stop my life and sit down and cry. I am a strong person, stronger than I thought I was, I will be successful and happy in my future. I will make sure of that. No one is going to talk bad about me behind my back and then come to my face and act like nothing happened. I'm not stupid, I know his childish ways. He will grow up and realize what a dumb thing he did. I think it was mostly my fault because I was too nice and loving to him. Even though he showed me love often, I closed my eyes to the obvious. I now see the light and it has been saying my name for a year and 2 months. I should've ran the other way when he pursued me, even though I did, he didn't give up. I was happy for a long time. Now that I think and look back on it all, I say that I was so so so stupid. I shouldn't have let him get deep into my heart. I have been hurt before, and now history again repeats itself. It isn't over though, but to save myself from hurting again, I have to let myself heal the right way. Even though I say forget him and that I don't care what he does, I can't get him out of my mind. I close my eyes and he's there, I laugh and I think of his laugh, I look on the calendar and see his birthday month. He's still a part of me, and he will always be, but I have to let that part live out it's purpose and heal on its own. Meanwhile, I have to do what I need to live the rest of my life. No more sorrow. I will stop thinking of him TODAY. mrgreen
 Grettikka · Wed Jun 17, 2009 @ 07:48am · 0 Comments |
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