So this week has been terrible.
Today is especially terrible because I heard from one of my boyfriend's friend about what drum line has been saying about me. Or "was" saying about me. So Iggy (Ignacio) was like, "Certain people (And I know EVERYONE in drum line, BTW) said that you decided to get with 'BK' just because I was desperate for a better reputation since I'm CSF Pres. and in all these other activities. And I heard that you didn't like him at first."
Well yes, at first I did not like him. I had no intention of being involved with this kind of person. However, how wrong could Iggy, or who ever else who has been saying this, be! When I first met BK, he was cold towards me. Everything he said or did to me was intentionally made to piss me off or hurt me. Of course I couldn't open up to him. He even made me so mad during the beginning of the school year and I promised myself to give him the silent treatment. But when I did ostracize him, I could see he was really hurt so I stopped.
Then he asked me out. Random...? Yeah, even I thought it was random. But desperate? Out of all people, I know I am NOT desperate. It took me weeks to even try to be nice him. And it took me months to actually open up to him.
I finally saw the true him the first time I visited his house for a project.
I never knew he could be so kind around his family. I never knew he could treat me so well when I was breaking down. I never knew he could see through all my fake smiles and how he could make me REALLY smile. I never knew he could tell if I were angry because I would always keep it in.
Even after we started going on dates (this was in an earlier entry), he pissed me off by saying he "didn't know what we were." If he didn't know what we were, is this desperate? Isn't being desperate being a couple right away?
I really don't know. If my situation is considered desperate, then I guess I'm desperate. If the drum line people think so, then fine. Honestly, of course I was hurt to find out. I'm still hurt right now. I don't know if I can face my drum line friends anymore.
Today is especially terrible because I heard from one of my boyfriend's friend about what drum line has been saying about me. Or "was" saying about me. So Iggy (Ignacio) was like, "Certain people (And I know EVERYONE in drum line, BTW) said that you decided to get with 'BK' just because I was desperate for a better reputation since I'm CSF Pres. and in all these other activities. And I heard that you didn't like him at first."
Well yes, at first I did not like him. I had no intention of being involved with this kind of person. However, how wrong could Iggy, or who ever else who has been saying this, be! When I first met BK, he was cold towards me. Everything he said or did to me was intentionally made to piss me off or hurt me. Of course I couldn't open up to him. He even made me so mad during the beginning of the school year and I promised myself to give him the silent treatment. But when I did ostracize him, I could see he was really hurt so I stopped.
Then he asked me out. Random...? Yeah, even I thought it was random. But desperate? Out of all people, I know I am NOT desperate. It took me weeks to even try to be nice him. And it took me months to actually open up to him.
I finally saw the true him the first time I visited his house for a project.
I never knew he could be so kind around his family. I never knew he could treat me so well when I was breaking down. I never knew he could see through all my fake smiles and how he could make me REALLY smile. I never knew he could tell if I were angry because I would always keep it in.
Even after we started going on dates (this was in an earlier entry), he pissed me off by saying he "didn't know what we were." If he didn't know what we were, is this desperate? Isn't being desperate being a couple right away?
I really don't know. If my situation is considered desperate, then I guess I'm desperate. If the drum line people think so, then fine. Honestly, of course I was hurt to find out. I'm still hurt right now. I don't know if I can face my drum line friends anymore.
