You Might Be A Guard Girl if...
1. You have a strange obsession with twirling things
2. You know what a crank toss is
3. You can perform a proper crank toss
4. You know all the forms of ballet (plie, 1st, 2nd, etc.)
5. You stalk onyx members
6. You know that Onyx is NOT a color
7. You know you can get your gloves at d**k's
8. You "throw up"
9. You think that Stoney is HOTT
10. You wish that "Taylor" was your "Latte Boy"
11. Everytime someone mentions Starbucks you bust out singing "Taylor The Latte Boy"
12. You know that 95% of the guys in guard are gay
13. You LOVE Rocko
14. You bluetooth drumlines at competitions
15. You send shout-outs that give off that creepy stalker vibe
16. You have gotten unzipped for a prank
17. Your shoes have ended up being duct taped to the ceiling
18. You've gotten a pillow duct-taped to your butt
19. You name frogs at band camp
20. After someone compliments you, you throw your hands above your head and yell "Karma Kap!!!"
21. You know the real meaning of body suit is "suffocation device"
22. Your normal attire is PJs and a hoody
23. You can jazz run
24. When someone ticks you off you threaten them with a flag
25. You take pictures on ropes
26. You refer to people as "Pickett, Caniglia, Cizourtney, Stephinanie, and Superstar"
27. You think your guard instructor mothers you
28. Every song you listen to seems to go great with guard work
29. Quote "Glitter is like herpes, once you get it, it never goes away"
30. You spin anything you can get your hands on
31. You go to attention when someone claps at you in the hallways
32. 5 hours of practice is a blessing
33. There are all sorts of marks on the ceiling of your room from the equipment you "were'nt" spinning
34. Every song you hear you write guard work to
35. All your favorite songs have this part that would be perfect for a rifle feature.
36. Your hands are permanetly black and blue
37. You have had more injuries to the head than you would like to remember
38. You're scared of rocks
39. Hauser is trying to run you over with a golf cart!!!
40. You dance down the hallways at school
41. You dance all around your house
42. You jazz walk even when you're off the field
43. You can't watch someone else spin next to you without spinning yourself
44. You name your equipment
45. You name your drill spots
46. As soon as you step onto a football field/ basketball court, you put your head up and smile at the bleachers, even if no one's there
47. You cant name all the shows you've done
48. You can't remember the work from the last show you did
49. The phrase "free time" has lost all meaning to you
50. The band room is your second home
51. You have a drawer full of guard t-shirts
52. You don't go one day without spinning 'something'
53. Doing only 200 drop spins at practice is a blessing
54. You've run more laps than the track team
55. You've done more push-ups than the football team
56. You practice more than the cheerleaders (and still get no credit for it)
57. You're proud to be a twirl-girl
58. You've gotten undressed in the band room
59. The entire band has seen you without pants on
60. When people on TV march, you cringe if they're out of step
61. You'd want to be at practice even if you were on your death bed
62. You know that "one more time" never means one more time
63. When you get home at 2 am you are ecstatic
64. After high school you plan to march in DCI and Independent Open or World (ONYX!!!)
65. You know how to get any stain out of your uniform
66. You go out in public wearing practice clothes and wonder why people stare at you
67. Anyone who can throw a piece of wood (rifle) 50 ft in the air becomes your idol
68. You've dated/crushed on a band member
69. You have so many inside jokes with members of the guard and band that you laugh at almost anything that anyone says, because you have a joke about it, (and you still wonder why people look at you funny)
70. You and your friends repeat the same phrases over and over
71. When one member gets sick, you all get sick
72. You all get your period at the same time, because you are around each other so much
73. You could make one of these lists with little to no effort
74. You have a permanet sock tan
75. Your nails don't come past the tips of your fingers
76. You're not a hooker, but your knees are so bruised they look like you could be
77. You and the band members get into fights over who's colder at retreat and YOU win
78. When you hear so much about other color guards you feel like you know them, but have never actually held a conversation with them
79. When you scream at the gym teacher "Colorguard IS a sport!!!" and they agree, thus letting you skip the mile run
80. Your parents lock up all the brooms, pool cues, umbrellas, etc.
81. You can do your hair and make-up anywhere
82. You can change into uniform anywhere
83. You spend more time in the music hallway than at your own house
84. You went to every school football game but never actually paid for one
85. When people ask about bruises you never even noticed you had
86. When vending machine food becomes gourmet
87. When “5 more minutes” turns into a midnight practice
88. When you have seen the same WGI tape a thousand times and still enjoy it
89. When you ride in a school bus more than your car
90. You say the pledge of alleigance to YOUR flag
91. You walk in step to all the music you here
92. You're constantly involved in fundraisers
93. You know where every high school in your circuit is located
94. When you hear a song you've done a routine to and get ecstatic
95. You know how to wrap your own bandages
96. You have a flag callus on your right palm under your pinky finger
97. You can smile genuinely on command
98. You can catch anything thrown at you
99. Finals are a positive thing
100. Leaving your seat at half time would be considered a sin
101. You've been in the wrestling room when there were no wrestlers in it.
102. You've gotten changed in the wrestling room.
103. Getting a sip of water is considered an act of love and kindness from your instructor
104. You find yourself criticising every parade you see.
105. You become your own pharmacist
106. Anyone who carries fem. products becomes your best friend
107. The term, battle of the sexes, has turned into battle of the bands/guards
108. You know what jello arms and legs feel like
109. Your parents know of more high schools now than when they were in high school
110. There's no such thing as a "Summer Vacation"
111. The smell of sunscreen reminds you of band camp
112. You're the last people to hear about the pep rally and the first to perform at them
113. Coming home before 4:30pm on a Weekday almost never happens
114. No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the year book
115. The term, democracy, is not in your vocabulary
116. You try more stunts than the cheerleaders
117. You learn to love your instructor when you see other guard's shows/uniforms
118. You know whats significant about June 14 (if not, look at your calendar)
119. You can talk about anything at practice and competitions, no matter who's around
120. Everytime you find an injury on yourself you atomatically know you got it from guard
121. You cheer louder than the cheerleaders at football games
122. When you can dropspin, jazz walk, chew gum, and carry a conversation at the same time without thinking about it
123. When colorguard is practically all you talk about
124. When stadium nachos and hot dogs are a delicacy
125. When gatorade, cheese balls, and fruit loops is the breakfast of champions
126. Flamin Hot Cheetos are your crack
127. Khris is your gay lover
128. The tarp is your enemy!!!
129. Milton girls are like your sisters
130. “Tarp Time” is bonding time
131. You have corrupted the Milton team into your own brand of guard… And you’re proud (:
132. You get told : “Go to your room” by mommy Steph
133. “Michelle time” means bending in ways you’ve never bent before
134. You dance in the middle of the street when its cold and raining
135. At school dances you do ballet improv to all the twirk songs
136. You absolutely can not just walk on your heels
137. Having a loud mouth just comes with the job
138. The band director thinks that the whole guard laughs the same way
139. You like to whip cream people in their face and hair
140. You love making eyebrows, mustaches, and beards with whipped cream
141. Getting a working door knob for the guard room door is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to you
142. And it LOCKS!!!
143. You have enough guard t-shirts to last you at least a week
144. The guys at blue monkey have become your best friends
145. And they tease you everytime you walk in
146. LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL!!!
147. Did you just pee your pants cause you laughed so hard? (The answer: YUPP)
148. You can sing and dance to all of the Yes Dance
149. You “lose” your contact and dance when you’ve “found” it
150. You use words to remember your guard work
151. Kiki yessing too hard is the funniest thing on the planet (:
152. You look up guard videos online and share your favorites with your guard buddies
153. You have to grit your teeth and tape your hands so you wont post something nasty about a guard that really sucks on youtube
154. You imitate the moves that you see from world guards online. And it usually ends up going into your show
155. There are some tosses you love doing just to freak out the newbs
156. You remember different schools by referring to their gym/field
157. Guard is Life
158. You know many ways of breaking into the band room
159. You’re ecstatic when you get new gloves
160. You’ve just got new practice flags and started crying (:
161. You stay up untl 4 in the morning making guard t-shirts, knowing you have practice the next day
162. You know never, ever ever ever, to eat a lot of smores before practice
163. You watch Cincinatti Tradition and cant help but to cry out of shame
164. Everytime you watch an aamzing guard show you feel as if you're in love
165. You've gone hoarse at band camp from counting too loud
166. You spin the baseball bat in gym class
167. Two words... MATTRESS SALE
168. You can shower, get dressed, and do your hair and makeup in under 30 minutes
169. You're excited for precamp which is 2 week filled of 6 hour practices
170. You get home from practice and immediately run outside to practice some more
