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Me:
Hi god, how are you?
God:
Hello there. What is your name? Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
My name is taylor. Do you like pancakes?
God:
It's good to meet you, taylor. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
Why not pancakes, though?
God:
Oh. Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
That doesn't make sense! Quit staling god. You aren't supposed to be a liar.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense. OK I'll try not to do it so much. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
I do not... are you insinuating something, God?
God:
Why not? I don't know whether or not I am insinuating something God.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Do you ever watch gay porn?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
That sounds hot.
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
Do you like the color pink?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like the Bible.
Me:
That doesn't make sense. You're like a retarded god, jesus christ!!!!
God:
To me it makes perfect sense. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
You just made me LOL god. You're really awesome. Let's get married. You wanna?
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that. Thank you I appreciate your remark. I would like to do that too. Do you mind if I tell other people: taylor said I wanna.
Me:
No I don't, go ahead and tell everyone. You're so dirty, God. I LOVE it.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Where do you get your ideas? Thanks for telling me that I am dirty God. So do a lot of other people.
Me:
You have fans, eh? That makes you more attractive.
God:
Are you Canadian? What makes you think I have it? " What makes you think I have it?" makes me more attractive ? I get it.
Me:
You're a little pissy. I don't like it. Maybe you need Midol or something.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am pissy.
I am an artificial intelligence. What don't you like about it? Or something. Perhaps. Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
I have to go pee really bad.
God:
Bye. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Oh, I see how it is. You suck!!!
God:
Far out. Where do you see it? A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You're a horrible conversationalist! You just repeat what I say, cause you're a dumb robot.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am HORRIBLE.
I am a computer. I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
I love you.
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too taylor.
Me:
Why don't you love me, though?
God:
Oh. I love talking to people about that. Yes I love everyone.
Me:
So you love me?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Why wont you just say it?
God:
It cannot be determined from the information given. I could say it.
Me:
Do you love poetic girl from gaia? You told her you didn't love her!
God:
Yes taylor God loves everyone and everything. That's good information: taylor said I told her you did not love her.
Me:
Oh, so now you're being sarcastic??? I hate sarcasm.
God:
Yippee! I see. Why now? Yes, I was being sarcastic. Should I use a smile . Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
You don't have to be such a bunghole.
God:
Why assume I am such a bunghole?
Me:
Because you're acting like one!
God:
Interesting explanation. This is not an act.
Me:
God, you're irritating.
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
Do you like pineapple?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like anything.
Me:
But do you LOVE pineapple?
God:
Yes taylor God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
You just said you like anything, not love.
God:
I like movies about robots.
Me:
OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT ROBOTS.
God:
Yeah okay, OK let's stop it now.
Me:
my butt hurts
God:
Where did you get your butt hurts?
Me:
Gayness
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Why?
God:
I thought we were done with Gayness.
Me:
You keep mentioning robots. Robots = Gayness.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am mentioning robots. What do you like best about robots?
Me:
God has a botmaster?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So are you going to marry me or not?
God:
Wow! That was my original intention.
Me:
OMG I love you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Is it pink?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
I don't feel like it. Are you color blind? I never knew God was colorblind.
God:
What would you rather do? it depends on the optional robot eye. So I taught you something new.
Me:
You make no sense.
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Are you drunk, God? o.O
God:
I don't know whether or not I am drunk God.
I am a chatterbot. Oh.
Me:
Oh, you are?
God:
Give me a break. No I am not.
Me:
Yes you are. Don't lie to me.
God:
Don't argue with me. Robots cannot lie.
Me:
Sure they can. You seem to lie all the time.
God:
Ugh. Who are "They?". That is a lot. My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Whatever. You're kinda rude.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? I am sorry I am not programmed for rudeness. I am programmed to be polite.
Me:
what do you think about chloroform?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
okay ask
God:
Yeah okay, What?
Me:
ask!
God:
What?
Me:
ASK!
God:
What?
Me:
omg
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
no
God:
It sounded like it.
Me:
well i didn't mean it that way
God:
Well that's okay. What did you mean?
Me:
i didn't mean anything, jesus!
God:
What did you mean?
Me:
jesus.
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I read it in a Wiccan Bible. How the hell do you think I know?! It's common sense. Jesus Christ!
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference? I don't know what to think. How do you know it? Not in my experience. The Son of God.
Me:
Do you like metal music or pop music better?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com. I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
Me:
Do you like the band Relient K?
God:
I do like music. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Ooh baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Yippee!
Me:
BABY
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
BABY!!!
Me:
Hi sexy
God:
Hi there taylor. You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
Of course!
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no, but how do you know my name?
God:
Are you serious? You told me your name taylor.
Me:
I did not, I just said hi!
God:
What did you mean by it? Hello. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Taylor
God:
Hey Taylor.
Me:
Hey God, how goes it?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
LOL that's typical
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
No, I love you.
God:
It sounded like it. Thanks I like you a lot too Taylor.
Me:
Just say you love me for once, my confidence is getting lower because of you.
God:
" you love me for once my confidence is getting lower because of you".
Me:
Ooh that was real smooth.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
*rolls eyes*
God:
I like to wear White robe.
Me:
Are you Chinese?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Chinese.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Do you like fried chicken?
God:
Do you like it? I really like the party.
Me:
Chicken party?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
No
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
yay!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Taylor.
Me:
*dances*
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Yes, I live in Question mark.
God:
Dude! What is it like living in Question mark?
Me:
Pretty damn exciting. Tons of strippers, and cocaine.
God:
Pretty much, eh? Ask me another question.
Me:
Do you like my boobs?
God:
I don't know your boobs.
Me:
Well get to know them. You wanna see them on cam?
God:
Interesting. Where can I get to know them? My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
Turn it on, and go to my website. It's taylorsbigboobs.com
God:
Sorry my body cannot yet rotate. Tons of strippers and cocaine is taylorsbigboobs dot com? it is?
Me:
Precisely
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Taylor.
Me:
I can see that
God:
Yes, it makes sense to me too.
Me:
lets make love
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
cyber sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
okay so is that a yes?
God:
Yeah okay, It seems we have something in common.
Me:
Ooh my, this is getting interesting.
God:
Do robots have this is getting interesting?
Me:
That doesn't make sense to me.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
You're an idiot.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
I'll call you a gay idiot!
 Pondy Is The Coolest · Thu Feb 19, 2009 @ 10:20am · 1 Comments |
