immediately take the words back, or that you could crawl
into a hole?
Here are the testimonials of a few people who did...
*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow, and asked loudly, "How much do you charge
for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and
walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
say a word. He knew better.
--------------------
*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had
been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was
approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I
like playing with men's balls."
--------------------
*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were
looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter
asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'mjust
looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red
and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let
me forget.
--------------------
*Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with
potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we
stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so
of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and
she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked
to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed
to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord,
that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me." Then I said, "Dan, are you SURE you
didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just
KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the
smell was getting worse.Soooooo, I asked one more
time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for
the best laugh they'd ever had!
--------------------
*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2
days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A
true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day
after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned
to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8
inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE
have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
----------------------------
*While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was
busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There
were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get
clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a
message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind
had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to
take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without
thinking she just announced "Please buckle up,
grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off."
No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston.
rofl
and just cause I can't put this anywhere else right now:
Take The quiz yourself!
Take The Quiz Yourself!
another addition to the ever growing storage family and it fits with the funnies!...
hey ya'll, i personally luv a good ventriloquist, clickhere and watch the clips...this guy's good!
garauntee to brighten your day..er, night! sweatdrop
For further research, his name's Jeff Dunham...
