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I want to create a 'Calendar Girl' sort of picture, though it won't be a single girl... well, not in my inital mental sketch. However, I just inspired a single female mental sketch just now... oooh, it's a good one.

Maybe it's more fitting that it's for October, what with Halloween, but it's going to be a character or group of characters, and a subtitle, (well, the text in the artwork...) that says, "Everyone I cherished died this month, years ago."

It's something of an homage to something my mother was telling me about roughly a year ago. She told me that my grandfather absolutely HATES the month of October because it seems like everything absolutely terrible in his life happened in this very month: Betrayal... the death of a close family member. . .

I don't know all of the details, though I certainly know of one, because that one affected me on a profound level as well.

My uncle Frank died... hell, maybe before October 20th. . . four years ago? Or was it longer? Five?
Gosh, time passes. . . so why hasn't it healed the pain?

Yeah, I've been thinking about Uncle a lot more lately, especially as Grandpa has been given reason anew to hate this month. Poor Uncle Chuy. . .

I don't know how I'll get around to drawing this Calender. . . or, if I draw if, whether or not I'll show it to my mother or family. They might understand too well the inspiration behind it, even as I type away at this computer as I do, with half lidded eyes, weary with sleep deprivation, or too much of it.

In such a case as this, I would normally sing a song, putting as much of my emotions into it as I can as a release for turbulent emotions.
However, with this stupid illness, it's completely wracked my body with all the coughing, and the coughing in return has ravaged my vocal chords. I cannot do certain higher pitched notes, but I can hit a few ABOVE the notes I want to hit.

However, with my newly grainy voice, I add a bit more when I try to sing 'You're Not Here' by Heather. . .

Funny how the title fits too well with Uncle F.

Missing you, Love you,
Your niece. . .