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You know what? ******** life.
I know I've said that many times before but seriously, ******** life.

******** parents, who seem to forget that they were kids and that they did the stupid s**t we still do.

******** juniors and seniors for thinking that they’re so ******** cool and say that ‘freshmen suck’. You were freshman once too, jerk-offs.

******** school, the place where you supposed to express yourself but you’re told to hush up and you’re told what to read and what to write.

And ******** ******** ******** relationships. They only lead to s**t when you’re young.

Music is pretty much my only vice at this point. For all the stupid s**t in my life, all the times I feel the need to cry and need to cheer up I can always turn to Panic At The Disco or Cobra Starship.

Whenever I’m depressed and don’t want to listen to anything remotely happy, I turn to Amy Lee’s ear-molesting voice for some sanity.

I find it silly that I think I was music deprived when I was younger. I was anything but.

The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Clash, X, Joe Tex, U2, Beck, Radiohead, The Offspring., etc.

I listened to all of that when I was in third grade.

I was never music deprived.

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You know what else gets on my ******** nerves? When everybody knows a certain secret and they say, “Oh, I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.” I get so pissed because every other goddamned person knows except me! It’s irritating and it makes me paranoid.

Why do I say this?

Well, early this morning two of my friends went off and had private time chat, and then Jerry knew something and now Rachel knows something. I am so pissed when people don’t tell me s**t! I want to know something!!

And please don’t flaunt it in my face that you ******** have a secret that you can’t tell me because 1) It pisses me off to no end, and 2) It makes me paranoid.

So you bastards can just have your ******** jolly time with your goddamn secret while I have to sit here and wonder whether or not I should be ******** paranoid.

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I have decided that I should try and isolate myself from my friends. Which means:

1) No talking to anybody but teachers
2) No contact
3) No nothing

Just to see how much of a ******** difference it would make in their daily lives when I’m not there.

You know, it wouldn’t make a difference! I’m sure everybody will be like, “Oh, this is great! NO ZOE TO PESTER US! PARTAY!”

So you know what? It is now my goal to go a week without any contact with friends.

--

If anybody I’m currently friends with does not like me and no longer wishes to be around me, please tell me.

I really don’t give a ********.

I’ve lost friends. It happens.

--

I’m just getting so sick of people.

******** off.

That’s all I have to ******** say.

People should just ******** off.

Jesus.

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And I hope my friends realize that this is all bottled up rage. Rage that I’d rather take out by screaming at everyone who ever pissed me off, but I can’t because I’m the nice, quiet, shy little Zoe that everybody thinks is an angel.

******** that.

I HATE PEOPLE.

Deal.

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I am not your angel.
I am not your sweetheart.
I am not your darling.
I am the ******** up, hyped up, rage filled monster with the demons waiting to be ******** unleashed.