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True Friendship

When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry b*****d who made you sad.
When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile -- I will know you finally got the joke
When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
When you are confused -- I will use little words.
When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy self