Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"It's too late to save me from myself.
After all the damage that I've caused.
I wish there was some way that I could
put me back the way I was!"

Basically. That's how I feel lately.
My two Best friends are leaving me.
Ciara is taking off to Tennessee.
Jess is going into the Air Force.

I haven't seen much of either of them
lately. I feel like I'm just gonna end up
loosing them for good.

All I have to look forward to is going back to TC.
Living with Scott again. That should be fun. I don't
know how well that's gonna work out at all. Especially
with Bree acting the way I hear she has been lately.
I could barely deal with living with the two of them last
time. At least then I had somewhere I was able to go stay instead.

Now that Ciara is leaving though.
That is gone. She says that her mom
would still let me stay. It would just be
too damn akward without her there.

To top it all off. The first person I ever
truly loved. The person who became the
greatest friend I have ever had in my life.
The person I still worry about every day of
my life. And will worry about every day she is
gone. Jess. Doesn't even think I can change enough
to get out of High School. She doesn't believe I can graduate.
And that really doesn't help me any.

All this just makes me wish I could go back
to how I used to be.

The person who never opened up to anyone.

The person who kept friends. But never let them get close.

I don't even know anymore...

I'm done typing now.
I want a ******** cigarette.
But I have none. ******** great...