rolleyes Alright, so everyone doesn't get overly "worried", yeah, I have been acting strange lately... wow... that was a given. Sorry, I just had to point that out for those who were too stupid enough to notice lol .
The last few days my life has had some big changes. I don't adapt to big changes very well as you can tell confused .
I went to high school thinking it was going to be all laughs and giggles. Boy, was I ever wrong gonk . I have no classes with my friends and if any, it's only one stare . So, my socialness has dropped somewhat and I'm being withdrawn sweatdrop . Whenever I try to have somewhat of a conversation with them, they kinda just say, "Yeah..." like they don't really want me around. So, I just back off and walk away. There's really not a lot I can do in that department. I have no idea what the hell is going on.. so, it would be nice if you fill me in neutral ... anyboby?!
Then Dan is acting different since school started and that pushed me further into my shadowy mood. As I have observed, he was worried in the beginning... just because I would hear bits and peices of convos he was having with other people... I really need to quit evesdropping twisted . Shame shame rofl ! Anyway stare .... Now he is distancing himself from me... I feel like I have an STDs or something. He doesn't like my huggs anymore and he doesn't poke back either eek ! The games we used to play... he isn't playing anymore. He's not really talking to me either, so it's all what the ********? My specialness must have run out or something... I have no more sparklies gonk !!
I was so "gah!" on Friday. I came into the high school and there is Dan and Syd. I say, "Hey" and they say it back and just walk away. I feel like I've just gotten shot down and I get kinda angry at that moment and just take off past them and walk towards my locker and smack the corner with my wrist. I made it to my locker, but my throat was getting tight. So I did what I always do when I feel backed up against a wall. I go and hide. Really, I just went down to my first period class. I was pretty much on the verge of crying then, but I bit it back. I don't want them to see me break down like that. Then Bryton and Dan came down to drop Bryton's stuff off and they said, "Hi" and I just gave them an unemotional look and just said, "hi" with a dull, numb voice. I just didn't care at that point. Nothing really mattered... but in the end they walked away again.
After school Friday I went over to Dan's house. It just seems that ever since school started Dan and Syd have been like best friends? I don't know what they are. I don't know maybe I get jealous or something. I want to be Dan's friend too and not just his girlfriend. Some of the things Dan says kinda hurt... like he just says them at the wrong moment and it tends to hit the right spot. I don't know.. I just want it to be like it was in the summer. I miss Daniel... people don't understand that when I say "I miss you" when we just hung out the day before or something like that. What it really means is that your acting different and I miss the old you or that I'm mourning some lost connection with you. I've been wanting to say, "I miss you" to Dan a lot in these past days...
Well, I pretty much walked away from the group on Friday and Zac ran after me. It seemed at the time he is the only one who actually understood. It seemed he was the only one who was worried... who cared enough to go after me and give me a hug when I needed it most. That's the reason why I like Zac so much. He sees everything and cares so much. He's so different from anyone in the group and the only one I let my guard down with. He's really a good friend.
Dan touched my heart and made me want to cry even more when he talked to me. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him that I missed him so much and that I loved him. I couldn't though... I was so drowned I didn't want to say anything.
Today... he was different. I thought he was going to be the same as always... but he was even more different today. It hurt so much to look at him. He... just didn't talk to me... and I don't understand why.
Danny.. I'm so sorry for everything. I didn't mean to make you worry... I just... I don't know. You said yesterday that you wanted to fix anything that was bugging me... I want to do the same with you. If there is anything bugging you.. can you tell me?...
I love you...
Running.-.With.-.Scissors Community Member 
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Community Member
If I was on more, I'd talk to you alot. =_= Rarely on, and when I am - you tend to not be. cry