Yesterday I went to Danielle's party- not a b-day party. It was pretty cool. I was surprised she invited me because we don't know each other that well, but she's cool. Her little brother started on fire... it was funny o.o;. I'm so mean, I'm sorry! ^^ I was chasing Danielle's kitties. O.o Danny went running around in his boxers. I was dared to take off my shirt, so I did lol. I was pretty wild at times. There were fire works too and truth or dare. So much stuff happened I would most likely be here awhile telling you everything, but me and Syd are good friends now and that makes me happy ^^. I don't know about Josh... I told him he died two days ago. I mean... not like he actually died, but in me he did, becuase I just watched him drift away from me... and it's not like how it was before... it's different. I think I made him mad. What am I supposed to do... when ever I hang out with him it hurts so much. He was like a brother to me.. now he is gone. I cried myself to sleep that night. I can't really talk to anyone, because I don't want to get them involved with my problems.. and give me sympothy or think I'm an attention whore. All I really want is someone to be the one that when I am with them to be able to take every worry and doubt from me. Someone just to hold me and listen. Just help me through... but I can't do that. I don't want anyone to know how I am when I cry or depressed. I don't ever want anyone to see that... never. Maybe it's because I'm afraid if I let them know my weaknesses and worries...my pain and my anger... that I'll be hurt again like before. It sucks...
Today I went to Danny's party. We just chilled and had a good time. These are the days I will be remembering for the rest of my life. I don't feel like an outcast amoung them and it makes me happy. I have people I can really call friends. When I left tonight I realized I didn't give Dan a hug or anything. He seemed like he didn't want me too go when I was riding away because he was still talking to me, but I don't know. I wish I could spend a day with him alone and it wouldn't be akward at all with out anyone else with us. Someday.. =)
Running.-.With.-.Scissors Community Member 
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