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My jornal is my specail little place.....shhh!!!
Feelings.........
"How can I say it so she'll understand?" Have you ever caught yourself thinking this? I really do like my best friend. She told me that at one time she liked me too but she had to push the feelings aside. She told me I should try to do the same but that's not how I am. I still have theese feeling for her. I always will she has been there for me for years so have others but....at school I am my friends ear and they can always talk to me. Kassie is like that for me. *long pause* I don't know any more there is too much stuff going on in my life. Here's a poem that half way pins what I feel.


Would Be Lover
By: M.A. Hamilton
Crystal tears from saphire eyes
A heart that bleeds but can not die
A love that hurts
For it's not returned
To be held tight and yet be spurned
My eyes are open but I can not see
You cast your shadow over me
Your lover for to truly be
Not just the toy you seem to see
The greatest of joys this would be
Would be lover you can't see
If you clam my heart I'll be set free
Forever more yours I'll be.



The poem was writen by my mom so you guys know. But the other half of what I feel is well described in Mariah Carey's song "We Belong Together". And this is what she wrote to me in return for what I wrote to her.

I got your letter. I'd write you back, but my mom refuses to buy stamps.... :/

Well sweetie, the angel doesn't fall far from the cloud. ;D
I knew you had a crush building up on me for a long while now, even when you didn't say anything about it. I know these things, darling.
I know how you feel, I had a point where I had feelings for you in this sense, I just had to block them out as hard as I possibly could. I know you say you "need" me and all, but it just can't be that way. You're a sister to me, I can't go out with a sister. D:
I've always felt we were as close as sisters, but I tried to stay semi-distant because I didn't want you to feel a love for me in this way, because if I hurt your feelings, I'd die inside.

Distance keeps a heart sore, but disposing of feelings makes a heart die.

I love you, nothing will change that. But I don't love you in the sense you want me to. I'm sorry, but that's how I want it to be. I could never go out with you because if things were to mess up, a break-up will be needed, and I can't do that to you. I don't want to lead you on, either. I'm sorry.
I will never ever cease our friendship. We're as close as it gets to me. I don't want to lose it. Don't take this as a "goodbye, our friendship is over". It deffinately isn't that way.
We're friends until the end, no stopping me there.
"If we were going out I would do the best I could to give you the world." Ambs, I'll give you the world, a shoulder, and a heart whenever you least expect it.

Amber, I love you. Never gonna change.

PM me back, I'd write this to you in a letter, but I as I said, my mom refuses to buy stamps. D:

And this is a pic I just got done of our avvies.

User Image

I love her. But in the end no matter what I say there are no words that truly describe my feeling tords her.


Kassie I love you.


Post Permanent Link ~Rikku.Moonblade~ · Tue Jul 26, 2005 @ 01:12pm · 4 Comments
~Rikku.Moonblade~
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    		•
    User Comments: [4]
    *tear*

     
    Offline
    comment Faint Residing · Community Member · Tue Jul 26, 2005 @ 07:15pm
    I'm sorry if I can't fall for you, too. I know how you are; you can't just say "okay, no feelings. Alright, done." You have to give it time, and even though you don't want to let go, then don't... The love might grow, I don't know. If it does, I'm not trying to tear your heart in two by not giving my heart back. I just want you to know that I'm still here, your feelings towards me like this doesn't weird me out nor will it ever. It isn't your fault that you feel such for me, but you have to understand it's not my fault I can't bring myself to feel the same back.

    I love you like no other has reached. We've been friends for two-ish years. From the time we've known each other and I discovered my sexuality, I felt for you. But that kind of drifted because I tried to stop myself from feeling back. I still kind of "like" you this way in return...

    And by the way Joel called me today. He's living here again, but isn't going to our school, yay. But ********. :/


     
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    comment Hobag McPimper · Community Member · Wed Jul 27, 2005 @ 10:17am
    First of all a peice of advice Kassie, don't try and make yourself love her. How can you ask for something that isn't there? It's a waist of time and it will just end up tairing the both of you apart. Take it from somebody who knows.

    Amber, I'm always here for ya girl, don't forget. I'm not trying to sound mean up above, but it's my personal feelings. And I've got something to say to you too. You don’t need to validate your existence through the existence of somebody else. Having a significant other does not make you a better person, nor does it prove to the rest of your friends that you’re cool. You gotta be personally 100% confident in your own personality, to be able to live a viable existence without having to have a ******** leech clinging to your wallet! Stop getting into superficial relationship bullshit. Most of the individuals misery usually comes from a significant other, a bad relationship,a bad marriage, or some bullshit like that. Just try getting to know yourself, and living life.

    Love you guys forever, sincerely hope I wasn't to diricect/harsh. Oh, and Amber, just wondering if I could come over some time. I'm hoping to buy a set of tarot cards or something, and hoped you could give me some pointers. And if I don't have them by then, perhaps you could give me a reading yourself. I really miss ya. Lata.

     
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    comment Faint Residing · Community Member · Fri Jul 29, 2005 @ 07:57am
    i love you!!

     
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    comment Strange_of_Heart · Community Member · Tue Aug 02, 2005 @ 04:46pm
    User Comments: [4]

     
     
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