Okay.. So I'm home sick. Whoopee. Like the cushion, you hear? I don't know what it is, but it's killing me on the inside, slowly.
surprised As Izabeau would PROBABLY say. I brought this amongst myself.
It's weird though. I wake up one morning, only with a slightly throbbing headache, and before the day is over, I'm already feeling like s**t.
Although, good things have come out of this short time at home. I get to add to my music library. A bunch of Daft Punk songs, a few Zeromancer songs. surprised xd I can't really stop listening to 'trance' or 'techno' music.
Let's see. Oh yes, school. I know people may say we HAVE TO go. But I think, once you're 18, you should have a choice, right? It wouldn't be like dropping out or anything, it would be an optional thing. But NO. It's a do or don't thing. The law,government, heads of the school board committee probably thinks that we are drones or something. Why don't they even think of 16 being the optional age? It is the age of consent, isn't it not?
And then there's Jacob. He makes time seem to go so slow. I feel at times though, I'm no longer Tasha. Because I spent an ETERNITY telling myself during stories of princesses and their prince charming, that I'd end up always like the step-sisters, or the wicked step mother. And yet.. Here he is, here I am, together.
Or at times, I feel like I just want to BLEND into the wallpaper for the rest of my life, just sitting in the background, observing the rest of humanity, living out their dreams, fates, destinies. Or what they believe to be those things, with the ones they think they love. And then I feel DEPRESSED But then there are those times, when people were just like me, slowly stepping back, against the wall paper, slowly letting the glue stick to their very souls, pulling them away from humanity. And slowly I began to realize that I was never truely.. ALONE I began to step away, forcing myself to un-stick. As I did this I found out, it wasn't as hard as trying to blend in. Once I made that 'great' turn around. He came.
My Prince Charming
Anyways-- Let's see. It's getting down to the cutting wire of the Sakura-Con. And I JUST now found out that I don't have enough money to get there. O_O How horrible is that? I mean. Not enough money for the hotel rooms. ;-; I may end up sleeping in a motel XD Now that's sacrificing. It's either that or Dad slowly starts slipping me MORE money. Or a job ACCEPTS ME. Pfft, you know how many jobs I applied to during these two months? A TON. Goddammit. Hahaha I just HAD to cuss at least ONCE in this addition to my journal.
ANY-hoo. I have been taking poetry up, once more. Slowly realizing that it seemingly makes me happier, even if it is for a short while. I don't think I'm going to post many of my poems on here, they seem a little more.. personal. But if anyone wants to take a gander, just ask. (as if anyone really reads these anymore).
I think I'm failing History. I mean. Yes yes, I know I cried when I was failing Chemistry (My first class that I EVER failed in high-school) But now.. I think I'm going to cry again. surprised I'm working SO hard in that class, Mr. T, knows I have an issue with historical Horrible events (I can't even watch the World Trade Center movie.) It makes me feel really odd and like I'm going to puke. Odd I know, but it's worst when I know I lived through the certain things. Like Desert Storm, 9/11, and the current war. It just makes me feel.. horrible.
OKAY, I mustSTOP Goodbye and Goodnight
surprised As Izabeau would PROBABLY say. I brought this amongst myself.
It's weird though. I wake up one morning, only with a slightly throbbing headache, and before the day is over, I'm already feeling like s**t.
Although, good things have come out of this short time at home. I get to add to my music library. A bunch of Daft Punk songs, a few Zeromancer songs. surprised xd I can't really stop listening to 'trance' or 'techno' music.
Let's see. Oh yes, school. I know people may say we HAVE TO go. But I think, once you're 18, you should have a choice, right? It wouldn't be like dropping out or anything, it would be an optional thing. But NO. It's a do or don't thing. The law,government, heads of the school board committee probably thinks that we are drones or something. Why don't they even think of 16 being the optional age? It is the age of consent, isn't it not?
And then there's Jacob. He makes time seem to go so slow. I feel at times though, I'm no longer Tasha. Because I spent an ETERNITY telling myself during stories of princesses and their prince charming, that I'd end up always like the step-sisters, or the wicked step mother. And yet.. Here he is, here I am, together.
Or at times, I feel like I just want to BLEND into the wallpaper for the rest of my life, just sitting in the background, observing the rest of humanity, living out their dreams, fates, destinies. Or what they believe to be those things, with the ones they think they love. And then I feel DEPRESSED But then there are those times, when people were just like me, slowly stepping back, against the wall paper, slowly letting the glue stick to their very souls, pulling them away from humanity. And slowly I began to realize that I was never truely.. ALONE I began to step away, forcing myself to un-stick. As I did this I found out, it wasn't as hard as trying to blend in. Once I made that 'great' turn around. He came.
My Prince Charming
Anyways-- Let's see. It's getting down to the cutting wire of the Sakura-Con. And I JUST now found out that I don't have enough money to get there. O_O How horrible is that? I mean. Not enough money for the hotel rooms. ;-; I may end up sleeping in a motel XD Now that's sacrificing. It's either that or Dad slowly starts slipping me MORE money. Or a job ACCEPTS ME. Pfft, you know how many jobs I applied to during these two months? A TON. Goddammit. Hahaha I just HAD to cuss at least ONCE in this addition to my journal.
ANY-hoo. I have been taking poetry up, once more. Slowly realizing that it seemingly makes me happier, even if it is for a short while. I don't think I'm going to post many of my poems on here, they seem a little more.. personal. But if anyone wants to take a gander, just ask. (as if anyone really reads these anymore).
I think I'm failing History. I mean. Yes yes, I know I cried when I was failing Chemistry (My first class that I EVER failed in high-school) But now.. I think I'm going to cry again. surprised I'm working SO hard in that class, Mr. T, knows I have an issue with historical Horrible events (I can't even watch the World Trade Center movie.) It makes me feel really odd and like I'm going to puke. Odd I know, but it's worst when I know I lived through the certain things. Like Desert Storm, 9/11, and the current war. It just makes me feel.. horrible.
OKAY, I mustSTOP Goodbye and Goodnight
