I try to smile;
I fake my laughter
So that you won't see
All of my pain.
I built a wall around me
To hide my emotions
Because I don't want to bother you
With what's going on inside me.
You accepted me
For who I am;
One of the few caring ones
Who helped heal my wounds.
You make me laugh- I enjoyed it
Even though I said you seemed stupid at times;
That helped stay my hand
From resorting to more pain.
The wall I've built
Is impenatrable- and yet...
Yet you slipped through a crack
And discovered the true me.
You still don't see my pain,
I suffer alone
From the expectatiolns and comments of my cruel peers.
Now you're pulling away
And you're adding a wound
A wound that grows deeper
Every time we don't speak.
You were one of the few
Who ever saw the real me
But it was another
Who discovered my burdens.
Secretly I have wished
That you would take another look
And help me again,
Like you unknowingly did before.
I fake my laughter
So that you won't see
All of my pain.
I built a wall around me
To hide my emotions
Because I don't want to bother you
With what's going on inside me.
You accepted me
For who I am;
One of the few caring ones
Who helped heal my wounds.
You make me laugh- I enjoyed it
Even though I said you seemed stupid at times;
That helped stay my hand
From resorting to more pain.
The wall I've built
Is impenatrable- and yet...
Yet you slipped through a crack
And discovered the true me.
You still don't see my pain,
I suffer alone
From the expectatiolns and comments of my cruel peers.
Now you're pulling away
And you're adding a wound
A wound that grows deeper
Every time we don't speak.
You were one of the few
Who ever saw the real me
But it was another
Who discovered my burdens.
Secretly I have wished
That you would take another look
And help me again,
Like you unknowingly did before.
I wrote this after a good friend of mine- the one mentioned in the note of my previous entry- decided that he didn't want to be around me anymore. Another friend of my blew me off every time I needed to talk to someone just ecause her "boyfriend was on the other line." This person didn't speak to me again until winter formal on December 4th, 2007 - about 5 months after we quit speaking.
