View User's Journal

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Right now I am so f**king pissed. Why, you ask? So f**king simple! My f**king demented, greedy, selfish mom is such a f**king dumbass, I f**king swear! I seriously HATE HER DAMN GUTS. I want her to die the most painful, bloodiest, most tormenting death any living creature could POSSIBLY imagine. Melodramatic? No. Exaggerating? No. Lying? Hell f**king NO! I can't believe I can even SURVIVE with her around. She has no damn job, she sits around the house all day on her lazy a** talking on the phone with her friends, and when she's not doing that, she's OUT partying with her damn friends, driving them around everywhere, and everything. Worst part is...... I don't have my own room, so I have to stay in the living room listening to her f**king mouth all f**king day! The ONLY person I'm close to is my dad, but he's in another State. He's been going back and forth between states ever since I was born. He stays there for a good six months, comes back for a good week, then leaves again for six months. And well, it's the whole cycle over again. I'm starting to lose trust in him though. Everytime I ask to go with him, he says I can't, and never tells me why.

I just had an argument with my mom. Over what? Money. Yeah. MONEY. Can you believe that? Okay, first off, my dad supports us. He sends money to us. And that's the ONLY thing my damn mom can f**king think about. I mean really! Can she ******** think about any f**king other thing?! She's a selfish b*****d who deserves to die. Whenever someone mentions money, she can't stop thinking about it, and wants it ALL for her-f**cking self. Greedy and selfish? I'd f**king say so. Well, she always used to borrow money from me, but I soon hid my money so she wouldn't be able to. But one time, a few weeks ago, she was begging me for money. So I lent her $40. And then just today, I went with her to shop. I bought a few things, totaling $100. I gave my mom my money so she could help me pay, since I wanted to go to another line and buy a drink. My mom being on one line, and me being on another line is much easier AND quicker. So, she pays for it, and I get my drink, everything's good. Then when we get home, I used the computer and my mom was on the phone again. Nothing unusual. Finally, when night came, she asked me to give her $100 since she said she paid for my things. Okay, so I try to CALMLY tell her that I paid for it. Then she starts laughing, calling me an idiot, and saying how it was her money she used. Here's a full dialogue:

Mom: "Kristal, come here for a second."
Me: *Walks into the room* "What?"
Mom: "Give me my money."
Me: "...What?"
Mom: "I paid for your stupid things. It was $100."
Me: "Um, no... I gave you the money for it. It was my money..."
Mom: *Starts laughing* "What's wrong, something's wrong with your head or brain? It was my money. Even if it was yours, I deserve it. I buy you food everyday. I keep you alive."
Me: "..........."
Mom: "So?"
Me: "What kind of f**king reason is that!?! Dad gives you the money to pay for the damn food! He gives me my money to buy whatever the f**k I want you f**king idiot!!"
Mom: "You talk to me that way?! Stupid little s**t... you have no respect at all! I'd like to see what you would do without me!"
Me: "My whole f**king life would be better with you ruining it every damn f**king second of it!!"
*The rest of the conversation is a bit graphic*

She should try thinking about something else for a damn change! Like.. her CHILDREN maybe. Or, the fact that she's an adult who should get a damn life, or JOB at least! She's so ******** irresponsible! And people ask why I'm so "messed up"? HAH! I'd like to see ANYONE live with her without going crazy!

I AM SO F**KING SICK OF EVERY DAMN THING. I f**king hate this damn life. Everything about it. I'm sick of this f**king world. This shitty a** family. This pitfall of devastation known as LIFE. Screw this. Screw every f**king thing.

Edit: For those who say I need a damn therapist, here's a reality check. I'm SEEING one. Happy? It isn't helping. At f**king all. *Sigh* Oh the f**k well. I guess I just have too much built in anger in me, even though it may not always show. I hide my emotions well.

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information