The last few days has been hell. So much has been going on, I don't know what to do. I've been bottling up my emotions, but there's only so much I can take. I feel like I'm a burden on my whole family... their lives are miserable and it's all because of me. My sister has a boyfriend who I HATE TO DEATH, but everyday I act like I like him.. if I don't, my sister physically tortures me. Every single night they come home, I can't escape him, he makes me feel so useless but my sister always just laughs at his "humor". I have to lie about my whole life, just because I'm afraid of a little [[or a lot]] of pain. I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of dying on the inside, or outside... and now I just don't know what to do. I can't hold my emotions in any longer, I'm crying right now, and feel like vomiting... I want to kill myself.... my whole family hates each other and it's all because of me..
I don't get why it has to be this way.... I think the world would just be better off if I was never born.. A part of me just wants to lay down and kill myself, but another part is saying I have more to live for. It's so confusing, I really don't know what to do anymore! I think the only reason why I'm holding on for such a long time, is because of my friends, especially my dearest Kimi-Sama.... but I feel like I'm about to break any minute. I don't know what will happen, but I just want this pain to go away.. to be able to have a NORMAL family who gets along with each other, who always helps each other no matter what.... I just want a family who I know loves and cares for one another. Everyday they leave me home alone, I never go out, I have no friends in real life, it's so lonely.. I don't want to be alone anymore... I've had enough. But seeing as how things are now, I think they will only get worst. During the whole 2 years, it's only gotten worst.
I'm listening to my sister and mom argue about my dad, they sound like they're about to kill each other.... I hear things breaking, I feel like calling 911 but I'm scared... I'm trying to block it out, but it's not working. I hate this damn life, this shitty family, and this ******** up world. Just leave me alone......
-Ino
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I'm just TOO cool! n_n
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Only A Nobody
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