So my boyfriend kinda inspired me to sit here and write my thoughts.
Where to start....
Heres the same on complaining as usual.
I only see my boyfriend 4 times a month.
I see him on Saturdays, every week.
Around Thursday I start getting all depressed...and stressed out.
Its hard for me because it feels like hes so far away...
and like hes not there for me when I need him.
We talk 24-7 on the phone though, but usually its just about random crap.
I really love him, so I just tough it out until Saturday comes.
But its kinda hard, having guys around me in school.
I get along with guys easier than girls, so I hang out with them more.
I care about people too much, and I start to think that I actually have feelings for them.
Love is just an illusion, created by the people around you.
I'll admit, I flirt with guys.
[ Sorry Troy. You know I'm a flirt. D: ]
And I enjoy it too....
To an extent.
After a while, I start thinking that I like them more and I get an attitude with Troy.
Always thinking he's trying to get smart with me and yada yada.
I've been trying to avoid the boys that I have flirted with.
Its working out OKAY, but they approach me.
And I'm all 'OMG.WTF DO I DO?!'
So I just say I gotta go, and walk away.
I shall repeat myself, I love Troy.
And I don't want to hurt him.
School.
I try really hard in school, but sometimes I feel as if I'm the stupid one.
I'm in Honors classes, and I feel like every kid around me is so smart.
Just because they understand something more, or can connect one thing with another.
I got a D in Biology.
All other classes were good.
Honors Biology.
We have to do a science project.
I decided to do the hardest project I could think up.
I never understood controls or (in)dependent variables.
And plus, I'm just lazy.
So I didn't type any science reports.
The Science Project is worth 60% of my grade.
And I didn't do CRAP.
So I fail.
I understand most of the classwork, its just that stupid Science Project.
If I don't pass the next 3 quarters, I have to take the whole class over again.
I really don't want to do that.
Algebra 2.
I didn't pay attention at all in Algebra 1.
I don't understand anything now.
I have to have everything re-explained.
Over and over again.
I got a B in the class, but I thought I had a C.
Spanish.
I cheated on one of my tests, and got 100%
Go figure.
The answers were right in front of me.
I don't understand any Spanish at all.
I fail.
Major fail.
It's just going to haunt me.
Theres going to be a speaking test and I'm gonna fail.
I don't study for anything, so I don't remember much.
I know that I have to study and work hard, I just choose not to.
I got A's in all my other classes.
=/
Homelife.
My home life is pretty messed up.
My parents are drunks and they are always out.
My grandmother gets me everything I ask for though...
Parents = Stupid
They don't know how to manage their money and theres alcohol in the house, rather than food.
Yet I'm overweight.
Thats because when there IS food in the house, I eat like crazy.
Friends.
My friends can be there for me at times, but leave me when the real hard stuff comes around.
Many of my friends are back-stabbers.
I hate it.
I don't know who to trust, and who not to.
Its just so confusing.
They talk to me one day, ignore me the next.
I haven't had a friend over my house to spend the night in like 2+ months.
But hey, I'm not complaining.
I get to sit my lazy a** in front of the computer all day.
HAHA.
So much fun.
Theres positives too, but I'm too tired to think of them.
Its 12:35am
I'll put in the positives tomorrow.
Maybe.
If I'm not too busy being lazy.
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Blake Alexander
Born February 8, 2011 at 11:19PM
6lbs 8.1 ozs, 20 in. long