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I had a revelation today. To be alone is the best way to go. That way, you cant hurt anyone, and no one can hurt you. Theres no one to blame except yourself if you screw up, and no one to feel badly when you do. Except you. But you can get over it and move on.
I hate hurting people. But I end up doing it anyway. And so I just want to apologize to anyone I may have hurt over my time here and also in the real world.
I know I do it every day and it makes me feel ashamed and unhappy. But I also know I cant help it, its part of life and its part of me.
Thats why I say that alone is better.
The road is hard, without those to pick you up when you fall, but youre a stronger person alone, because you have to pick yourself up. Learn from your own mistakes, and try your hardest not to make them again.
That last part is the thing I seem to have trouble with. I let my feelings get in the way of what others feel and its wrong. Even if my opinion is morally correct, I shouldnt let that get in the way of my friends and my family and anyone else. So, to anyone who feels like Ive hurt them terribly, just leave me alone, then I can do you no more harm than whats been done.
I like to think that Im a decent person, but I know its not true. How can anyone be when its so easy to voice an opinion?
I think the world would benefit if people just learned when to keep their mouth shut.
And to anyone else not intimidated by this wall of text, there is usually a good reason for when I get angry and hurt someone. But this is not an excuse. We all have days when were stressed or all the little things start to wear on us, and Im sorry to anyone who was hurt by me when they were in this state. But you know what? I probably was too.
I also think the world would benefit if people learned how to cut each other some slack.
And that, again, brings me back to alone is better. If youre alone, you have all the slack you need, and you give others slack by simply not being there.
Im not sure I have much else to write, but I think it helped me to write all this. If youre still reading, I love you. And thank you so much for deciding to dive into my thoughts, it will help me to know that they are shared.
If you want to, comment on this, just to let me know you read this, it can be your little good deed for the day.
Good night all, thanks again
heart Natalie
 Hanawie · Mon Nov 19, 2007 @ 02:53am · 2 Comments |
