Everyday I just wonder what is going on inside of me. Random demons take over now, and it sucks the life outta me. I thought I finally got rid of them, I thought I finally don't have to see them again, but nope.
Anger
Hate
Jealousy
I hate them. Hate them all. Yet they are so attatched to me. I hate the feeling of it. My chest feels like it has a ton of weight on it. I'm not the same again. This is not me. I know me. This is not me.
My head thinks nothing but the memories play back
My heart aches but it still loves
My eyes are blind but the tears have sight.
I hide the demons though. I show everyone my true side. The happy, Hee Jun loving, Visual Kei loving, crazy girl that I am. If I show my demons again, who know what might happen. I don't want to hurt another person again. No. Not anymore. I am not what the demons say I am. And yet why do I keep falling into their traps? I can't let anyone know I'm so gulible against them. No. Too embarrasing.
The Lord is helping me fight this battle. Alot of bloodshed in this battle. Every tear that is shed from my blind eyes is every blood that was shed. Sometimes I fall into a sign of non-emotion. The sign that I keep on dying. I keep on falling. Then rebirth. When that happy, Nyappy forever, dance crazy person comes back. When the krazy korean girl gets back to her fan-girl self.
Yet a residue of black is still left and grows like bacteria. Why do I let it grow? Wy can't I just get rid of it before it spreads and suffocates me again? I guess I am that gulible.
Can I do anything about it?
Guess not....
Continue?
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GAME OVER
 MCJang · Fri Oct 19, 2007 @ 05:19am · 1 Comments |
