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The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into office and said, "You graduated from Texas A&M and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

"Everything, but my earrings."


Ok, so this guy walks into a bar and he has three ducks. He walks over to the bartender and says, "Will you watch my ducks for me?"

The bartender replies, "sure thing." So... The guy walks into the restroom and the bartender talks to the ducks. The bartender says to the first duck, "Hey little duckie what's your name?"

The duck replies, "My name is George and I been in and outa puddles all day."

The bartender replies, "That's nice."

Then he does the same with the second duck and gets the same reply except for the name.

Then he says to the third duck "Hey little duckie what's your name?"

The duck replies, "My name is puddles and you don't wanna know how my day's been."



MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's ******** Goofy."