Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Or not..

Today everything I did, or didn't to, just turned around and pushed me straight in to hell. Sure, it's warm tow there, which is more they one can say about this house, but I don't wanna be there gonk

I wan't one of my firends to call.. Just to show me that he is alive.. That he still cares for me. I wan't him to care.. I wan't him to know that I'm thinking about me..
But every time I try to say something, I just turn my self down.. I do things that I shouldent.
I don't wanna phone him. I wan't him to phone me. To make the conation. But I'm afriad that that is something that is never going to hapend.

Other then that.. I think I'm in the middle of some kind of brake down. You know, in the center ot the storm where everything is silence?
It's kind of nice to be here ones in a while. But I know that the storm is soon goan reacah me again, wrap his arms around me anf fling me away in to an new hell. And I'm the onlye one to find my own way ot of there..

Please. I bag you. My gods.. I still belive in you. I know you ones beleved in me..
If you ever loved me the way I love you, please show me now. I need you. All of you... Specially you to.. And you know it as I wisper ypur names at night...