This is what has been going on in my mind and I wanted to get it out just let the words unravel and flow, this is what has me going this thing called "loneliness"
I guess I'm just filtering through my life I wanted to think back at everything thats ever happened but the one thing that I think about the most,
is people..... everyone that I have become close to, everyone that I left behind in
that period in my life time when I was all alone..When I didn't have anyone for consolation when all I did was move on in life alone internally and externally..I had left myself like this for along period of time' and at one point I decided I wanted to change I hated this feeling of loneliness, I wanted to talk to someone, but then I thought back to the time when I wasn't lonely when there was people that cared and understood. When every time I was unhappy, just being with all of them lit my heart, but in the end I left them all behind... They had connected to my heart and left just another little wound, I thought if I could avoid connecting with them it wouldn't hurt to leave them behind, it wouldn't hurt when I'm not with them anymore....
All I have to do is avoid getting close to them, all I have to do is befriend them
But in the end that didn't work either, they each placed there own wire into an area in my heart that keeps us all together, until that time comes again when those wire's are pulled out and I'll be alone once more,
I'll be alone with that shadow of confusion the one of doubt that leaves me in paranoia Where I had always preferred being alone then with those that can hurt me and those that just don't really care, and in the end they never truly understood anything that I ever said, those that pretended....
and I'll be left thinking again about how I was betrayed
about how I am getting used to the loneliness that has consumed me
Where all I ever thought about was How I was better off without them
Artistic Repertoire · Thu Jun 14, 2007 @ 11:18pm · 0 Comments
