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I feel really bad since a few times. I don't know why; highschool is nearing its end and doing well, tomorrow is my prom night and I'm gonna party with my friends 'til morning. But I'm still feeling like crap. Like my mother...she's kind of bored, and I think her boredom infected me. I'm trapped all week long in that ******** house (not that I'm grounded, I just don't know where to go and what to do) and I feel so alone. Sometimes, I cry for nothing. Hm, I guess my monthly red sea is coming?
Perhaps all I need is a lover. I've turned on my 17 tuesday. 17 years being alone is really hard. Maybe I'm just stupid; I got an handsome young man just awaiting my decision. If I don't stop being shy...he'll just find another girl. But I don't think I love him anyway. He's my partner for tomorrow, there, perhaps I'll see.
But 'til then, I'll keep being sad, hiding it behind my fake joyness.