I'm not really feeling good and I'm sad. I want to just smile non-stop for my friends and family. TO just stay happy for them all. But I can't, and this just makes things wroser for me.
So hard I try not to think of the things that have happen in my life. So hard I try to just smile for everyone. Screw my own heart and just smile. But for some reason, I can't anymore.
My best friend...died earlier in the year...she left me alone, and I know I have other friends but...she was my angel.
I would tell her everything. I would let out all my emotians to her and just cry to her. I didn't cry to others like I did her. When I was worn out and tried she would hold me and drag me out the house to do whatever.
Ever since she died, a hole the size of God's fist was left in my heart. I've never felt this depress...every. I did stupid things then. I would laugh and play and pretend all is right with the world. I would goof up, ******** up and just act up all the time, never giving a damn.
But that's changed now...I can't hold back anylonger. I barely cried when I went to her grave. I barely cried at all. But now I have too...I have too...but I can't...
I can't cry. I can't let the tears be shown because she isn't here to hold me.My Angel isn't here to hold me close as I cry over and over agian.
I can't go on like this I know that but...I don't know what to do anymore...
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