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I'm so confused... Right now, I don't know what to do. It's like, I want to be out there and be with friends and just be myself, but I'm so scared of what everyone will say, or do. I'm terrified of being hurt. I cry when someone makes fun of me. I don't want to be embarrassed about anything, and yet my face always turns red. I say I'm not embarrassed and that I never cry, but really, I almost cry every day. Sp many things touch my heart, and so many things break it. I feel volnerable to everyone, and when I don't understand something, I want to ask questions, but I'm so afraid. I don't want to look stupid, but somehow I end up looking that way all the same. My feelings have been hurt countless times, but I try to hide it behind my smile and laugh. I act happy and hyper to cover up my feelings. And sometimes they escape and I cry infront of people. I try SO hard to cover them up. And sometimes it works! People can't even tell! Which is great... But eventually it comes out...
I might be doing a speech at my 8th grade promotion. I'm not nervous, and I have the whole freakin thing in my head. I'm actually... Excited... I get to wear this beautiful dress that's white with black spots. I love it SO much. I don't have any shoes though. ._. I need to go shopping... YAY!
 [.pocky.stix.] · Mon May 14, 2007 @ 03:51am · 0 Comments |
![[.pocky.stix.]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/5e/ab/60d68a7746ab5e.png?t=1190881722_5.00_00 "[.pocky.stix.]")
.:-yuRi-:.