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Yes, it is time for yet another installment. I was hoping I wouldn't be irritated enough to continue the "Idiots" series, yet here I am. If only people would give it a rest.

Now this, this is a new kind of stupidity not previously mentioned. This entry will not be based around people making silly Threads that harm no one, but rather pompous assinine people who choose to crash said Threads. These are people I like to refer to as "Forum Nitches" who believe that it is their duty to police the forums. To their face, I call them Forum Policemen, as it is much more polite than "nitch".

Forum Nitches exist everywhere. And you know when they're online, because they have posted in every single Thread you visit. Never about the topic in question, of course. Their main purpose is to throw out "Go to the subforum" or "There's a sticky for this." Even if the topic is, indeed, related.

People piss and moan about repeat Threads all the time. Yes, I admit, when there are twenty different "zOMG LINK VS. DANTE WHO WOULD WIN?!?!?" Threads or a zillion "SASUKE SHOULD BE PAIRED UP W/ NARUTO!!!!11!!!11!" Threads, yes, they are quite annoying and rather unnecessary.

However, it is twice as unnecessary to inform people that their lone Thread, the only one of its kind, is "not allowed by forum rules, and should be in a sticky."

I don't suppose these Nitches ever once considered that perhaps people create new Threads because they want a small discussion, a Thread to cover one facet of the absurd number of topics crammed into a single sticky. Stickys are full of repeat posts, which are as bad if not worse as repeat Threads. Perhaps I would prefer to be a part of a small conversation regarding whether Cloud belongs with Tifa vs. Aeris rather than trying to be heard in a mass of a thousand voices in the Sticky.

Furthermore, Stickys are goddamned useless. If you want to talk about one small facet of any item, let's use the "Who should Cloud date?" Subject as an example, you will be entering a massive Thread which also covers thirty other topics. It is not unreasonable to assume that the other people hanging in this massive Thread will want to talk about those other items and not the item that you would like to discuss. They will ignore you, the chat you were hoping to spawn will have died before its birth, and the Sticky will have failed to serve its purpose.

Another point I would like to articulate is that these Forum Nitches don't seem to realize that they are not mods. The forum does not need more mods. It has them. They don't need you policing the forum, understand? It is not your job to reprimand every kid that comes along with their own Thread, whether you do it politely or sarcastically. It's the ******** internet, people. You don't win a prize for telling other people how to use the internet.

Besides, if you want these Threads to disappear, you should A) Not post in them so that the Thread drops off the front page, and B) report it to a mod so that it does not continue to irk your eminence. Saying something, however polite you may be (though typically Forum Nitches are rude as ********), is not necessary. You're merely defeating the purpose of posting.

Also, a quick examination of Forum Nitches. There are a three kinds:

Polite Forum Nitches. Less than 5% of all Forum Nitches. These people are always very kind about the manner in which they phrase their requests. "Please create a new thread in the appropriate subforum, please." (Yes, they do use "please" twice) or "Check out the sticky! It has what you're looking for." Yes, you are being nice about it. The point is you have no reason to be doing it at all. You're not a mod. Please don't act like one.

Jackass Forum Nitches account for approximately 35% of all Forum Nitches. These are the people who are rude sons of bitches about telling other people where to put their Threads, and they don't say the appropriate subforum, if you get my meaning. These people border on trolling with their accounts of violent actions against the creator of the Thread and what they believe to be "biting wit" which is really more along the lines of twelve-year-old-level sarcasm.
--------One personal favorite, someone put up a hypothetical Thread, "what if (whatever it was.)" The Jackass FN in question responded with "And what if this Thread was allowed by the Forum rules, moron? I can only imagine."

Ho, ho, jackass! I'm sure the kids on the playground are astounded by your reversal, but the rest of us are wondering exactly how big the stick up your a** is.

---------Another personal favorite, the guy who says "Get teh f** out of r forum w/ ur st00pid n00b thread n don let the d00r hit your a** on the way out! St00pid dumbass, don you kno teh forum rulz?!? If I culd, I would hit you w/ a baseball bat!!!!11!!1!"

Great job there, buddy. Not only have you proven to the whole world that you possess absolutely no understanding of your native language and are bound to fail every English course you take, you've also convinced us that you are not above resorting to virtual violence at a whim, thus giving people like Jack Thompson more fuel for video gamer profiles.

And last, but not least, the Elitist Forum Nitch. 60% of all Forum Nitches proudly claim this title. These people are dead convinced that they are better than you for holding up their fake, shiny plastic MOD badge and telling you that you're in the wrong place. These Nitches honestly believe they have a ******** Gaian PhD in Forum Law. Not only is it their duty to tell you you are wrong-wrong-wrong, it is their privledge.
An example: "This thread goes best in a sticky, so I strong suggest you move there at this time. Also, I have reported you for your inadequecies. Have a nice day. smile "

Or:
"God, you damn n00bs are everywhere? I suggest you take your barely-intelligible thread and move it into the appropriate forum."

Or the very simple:
"The sticky is located here." And they enclose a link.

I cannot stand these pompous elitists who think that they are somehow better than you for having no life beyond policing the forums. Truthfully, I rarely see these people actually contribute to a Thread. The only time I ever see them post, it is a snide comment about where the Thread should go. Especially the A/M/C forum Nitch, the one that wears a lot of red. Any time I see her post anything, it is almost always something snotty and rude.

People, I know the internet provides you with anonymity. That does not, however, give you an excuse to be a jerkoff.

::sigh:: And Now I shall go off and find the responses to my posts about "let them have their useless, it's going to get moved anyway" from people about how they have some right to be policing forums and turning themselves into Forum Nitches.

Have a good rest of the year, kids, and remember - a tolerant, informed websurfer is a happy one!

I spend a lot of my time on Gaia on the A/M/C Forums, and I am getting sick of seeing people shoot their mouths off about crap they have no idea about. Here's what I mean:

People who use Japanese words in place of english ones, like saying "baka" instead of idiot. No. Hell no. Do not use random Japanese words unless you speak the language. By the rules of the Japanese language, you're probably not even using it right, so unless you're Japanese, don't do it! It's annoying as hell! Especially when people misuse it!

People who talk about the plots of less popular series, claiming that they are "too similar to be coincidental" with already popular series. The next moron to say that D.Gray-Man is the same thing is Fullmetal Alchemist is going to get a rusty spoon to the eye. "But they both have deformed limbs!" Yeah! Guess what, idiot, there's a LOT of anime/manga with characters that have special limbs, so don't say they're the same! Especially since A) Allen was born with his B) It's an anti-akuma weapon, not something he needs to get by.

"But they both tried to bring their parents back!"

No, dammit! Allen's participation in the insertion of his father's soul into the robotic akuma was passive. All he did was say "Mana". Allen is not as stupid as Ed! The one who brought back Mana Walker was the Earl of the Millenium, NOT ALLEN. Sure, Allen wanted his adoptive father back (we never hear about his real parents or his "dark past", which is nice in comparison to a lot of anime) but he didn't actively go looking for a way to do it.

"But they both go on missions from their headquarters!"

Yet another concept familiar to craploads of anime! Congratulations, moron, you've managed to connect two animes to the same ambiguous idea! You win a prize. Besides which, Ed works for the military for his own selfish means, Allen works for the Dark Order of Exorcists to rid the world of murderous akuma! It's different! Don't go shooting your ******** mouths off unless you know the plot of the story.

"But D.Gray-Man is new, so it must be copying off of FMA!"

NO! D.GRAY-MAN IS A MANGA WITH OVER NINETY CHAPTERS! It's been around for ages, and the next time I hear someone say that D.Gray-Man is a ripoff of FMA, I am going to go postal.

And my personal favorite:

"Oh, that anime is on adult swim, so a lot more people were exposed to it and now it has a larger fanbase. I hate it because it's popular now!"

The best example of this is Bleach, though Naruto can apply, too. Yes, the fanbase is full of newbies to the series. Whoopdy doo. Have you ever actually watched any amount of Bleach before you go shooting off your mouth about how you hate it? I'm sick of Bleach bashing because people are just doing it because it's the thing to do now.

The only series that seems to be immune to any of the aforementioned diseases is Fullmetal Alchemist. And you know what, I have news for you about the anime FMA.

IT WASN'T THAT GOOD.

That's right, I said it. It was all right. It was not stellar. It was not awesome. You get to watch the hero get his a** kicked more often than not, fail at any number of his intended goals, and you get to watch his friends die. I'm not saying it wasn't good, it was, but it was not as awesome as all these Fanboys and Fangirls like to run around squeeing about. For some reason, I have seen every anime I have ever watched compared to FMA at least once, like it's the anime to end all ******** animes. Well it's not, dammit.

There, I'm done.