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.....feel kinda used....lonely...sad....mad...depress...i don't know what is going on anymore.... its kinda there yet its not. like my whole life is coming to an end in its own way. wondering what the point of it yet i think i know too. dang hella emo kinda. must be all my depressness kicking into me. s**t!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to get out of the house go dance or something. maybe go drinking again. life is so confusing to me. i know it but i don't dang life sucks but its great too. friends would tell me its my pick to go this way. to be up or down. my pick of my own paths. dang hella *RAWR* i just don't get it at times. like im numb but i'm more confused on what to do than anything. usually now i just let it all happen on its own. like what ever come just come down to earth chick. but i have some days that just happen to be down. like how beautiful the world is to me. taking in all the beauty of the world kills me to be sad and see how sad my life and the world is. how everything happen at my own pick of paths. but what am i to say. i give the best advise but also i don't follow it too. s**t world is fu** up sometimes. but what should i do? what can i do? i want to kill everyone in this world but i just want to dissapper more than anything. live and vanquest from the life of the earth, but then my best friend Ai-chi would be sad too. and she would try to fine me and maybe no she would follow me too. beening taken out of the darkness and getting push back in what is this ment for? just there? or is it here? how to fine the one you love? the one who cares? there has to be someone out there just for me right? some people would feel the same to right? my need and wants. both unfullfeled in there own way. a smile from the heart only happens when i'm with those that impact on my life right? dang whats with me today... *sigh* some life this is.... *rawr* so tired... got to fine something to keep things off my mind... *rawr*
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