Good old me doing it again, Feeling too close to someone and saying exactly how i feel about something they have done and it screws everything up! I dont really go into detail other then when i came back online, they did as well.. They were most likely set as invisable... and i said Wb, but they said nothing. its been like 5 min and im still waiting for a responce and i feel to stupid to say anything more. Its funny... He picked me up after skool cuz i was feeling rather dark sence lunch hour... then it went to its peek when we were laughing and joking around... then i had to speak up cuz he said something that bothered me somewhat and, from past experence with him, expected something. I voiced my thought and then he was.. well.. rather cold to me... So now im back in that somewhat dark mood and thinking about everything we've been threw... Last night we were talking on the phone for hours late into the night and it was one of the most perfect times between us. nothing could mess it up and i though it'll remain, obviously it hasnt. and i just had to rant about it cuz most of my friends i cant... Eaither they hate him, dont care about what i say about him and tell me to get over it or have a major thing for him and gets upset everytime i seem to talk about anything conserning him. So i'll write it in here... Another rant about something that pissed me off today. Because of my board breaking seminair tomorow im guna be pretty damn late for Devons surprize party.. which means i miss the hole "SURPRIZE!!" part of it.. which really pisses me off. Ah well... Im guna miss him, hes guna be gone for 3 months... like so soon... *sighs softly* But im like a lost cause to him, i may of heard he likes me and catch glimpses of it in his eyes but really i think he'd rather someone more then me. I mean... really? All i am is something that doesnt know how to quit when its needed and hurt everyone i care for...
 Me and Devon just a lil while ago... Hopefully i'll wont end up hurting him. hes one i havent yet...
 And this is Derick... I've hurt him... and he paid the price being so niieve. 56 marks of a blade across his arms shows me the depths of what i've done... Hopefully i'll change... and maybe i'll just close up to everyone
and at this i'll end this entry...
 playwithfire · Fri Feb 25, 2005 @ 01:55am · 0 Comments |
