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Jewls Plans
TO STEVEN
you wanted me to be myself... i was... you never believed it was me... how can you know who i am if you won't believe me? you were someone... you are someone i cared and will always care deeply for... when i told you i love you it was from my heart... i knew you didn't feel it when you said it... it didn't feel right... i said it didn't... but you said you were sure...
who was the one being 'fake' i guess it the word to use.
i'm sorry that you can't deal with me being how i am... but that isn't my fault... its yours.
i have enough s**t in my life to deal with right now... and i rather you had just stopped talking to me all together than us having the argument we had tonight.
you blocked me... i can't stop you... i couldn't even if i wanted to...
but if you really cared about me youd understand how i am... what i say... how i say it. not everything i say makes sence to you cause you don't know me. i thought you did... but its been too long... we've both changed it seems...

but i don't hate you... i never have. i don't like what happened but thats it.
all i'm going to say is i'm sorry.
i hope you find what you're looking for one day.


Xx_666_jewl_666_xX
Community Member
  • [04/07/07 10:13pm]
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  • [04/07/07 10:11pm]
  • [12/25/06 10:27am]
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  • [12/23/06 07:55pm]
  • [12/20/06 07:29pm]
  • [12/19/06 11:00pm]
  • [12/19/06 04:58pm]


  • User Comments: [1]
    when I said you dont know you, I didnt say I didnt believe you, I just meant you dont ever see the good things about yourself, a person isnt the bad or imagined about themselves, they are the good, the great, the fantastic, and the incredible parts of themselves to, but you dont seem to want to face those parts of yourself, and if you dont know who you (as in the entirety of you) are then how well can I possibly know you? I know who you are now, but when you learn to accept yourself and like yourself, you'll be different, I'll still know you just as well but I'll be able to get to know you even better, thats what i meant.

    I do Love you, its just I dont think its possible to completely love someone when they cant even love themselves, it doesnt feel...right (for lack of better terminology) I wasnt being "fake", I wasnt lieing, I just think you should find what it is gaians see in you for yourself, you have friends here, that know you better then people in reality do, and they like you for some reason (and no Im not telling you what it is) you need to look inside and figuire out why we care about you and learn to love yourself as much as we all love you.

    You know I didnt block you, it was damn near 6am here and guess what? I started work at 8am, I talked, and argued, and fought, with you all damn night and you still didnt understand what i was trying to say, so I said goodbye and signed off so i could try to function....Im sorry if you think everyone hates, or if you want me to hate you, but that'll never happen, I will never hate you, as such you will always have at least one person who never hates you, let alone how many friends on gaia who would never abandon you, I didnt block you on msn, so I hope you dont block me out of your life again.

    Im sorry too, and I already found what im looking for, im just waiting for her to realize it.

    comment Entorin Wolfwood · Community Member · Sun Dec 17, 2006 @ 08:39am
    User Comments: [1]

     
     
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