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today is s**t, ever since the neurologist pressed hard on the thing on my neck, u cant c it well u can if u move my hair but its under my skin, well apparently it spread further down my spin, almost to the bottom of my neck, and on the top for all i know it could have spread in my head. he pressed it and asked if it hurt, i almost puked, i said no but it made me feel like i was gonna puke and dizzy. then did some tests like walking, which i failed, i fell over, it was like i was drunk and i kept appologising. im so lonely, well i love kris, but what if hes not real, im terrified to b hurt anymore, i cant allow it to happen again. i mean he is stil sweat, but he seems 2 b changing, but that could also just him being very sick, but u dont sign in, write a pm seeing me online send it then sign off, thats so damn rude. and hurtful, but guys see things differently, he prob meant it 2 mean he was thinking about me and came on just to let me know he cares. i know i love him, he is ashke...but im so scared, i have never been so fragile in my life since my ex. he screwed me up, hurt me over and over, didnt even care when hed make me puke because he was being cruel. ashke cares, makes me feel important, and special, total opposit of the ex. its like a new beginning, all over again, have to get over everything again, but ashkes worth it if he'z real heart heart (im just paranoid, so im most likely wrong, just 2 much bs from ppl made me this way)
oh and i loves suri and nan. even if suri is kinda probably very mad, and i understand. think im going to go appologise.
just with the not being able 2 ballence, and headaches/migranes, and everything else would go away. just cut the damn thing out, i dont care if it kills me or not dammit let me live my life... scream newayz must continue watching loveless....
 lil_qt_cat1 · Sat Dec 16, 2006 @ 03:13am · 2 Comments |
