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It feels so... good, Brigitte. It's like touching yourself. You know every move... right on the ******** dot. And after, see ******** freworks. Supernovas. I'm a goddamn force of nature. I feel like I could do just about anything.
People hate me and in this sickeningly worrying heartlessness I don't give a damn anymore.
I just don't care.
Yes, I whine. Yes, I complain. Yes, I'm a hypocrite. But guess what? Most people I know are as well it's just more obvious with me cos I seem to be in a constant bad mood around school and no, I don't know why.
But if people don't like me then I don't care right now, I mean I'm not liking alot of people at the moment.
It all works out in the end.
Chris's moms meeting mine tomorrow and I'm a tad nervous. I mean I'm glad my Dad isn't going - he's more embarassing. ._. It's like meeting your boy/girlfriends family for the first time.. just worse cos you want them to get on even more. XD
Luckily Chris's mom likes me anyways so it shall all be good. :]
Spending all weekend with Chris after that. I have decided. Ive done all my homework /coursework so all that's left is taking a nice break from work again.
Chris is having a good time at college me thinks. It's great, he's working really hard at his new project and he's much more intrested. I'm glad he came back and when he's happy it generally improves my mood as well cos it means less worrying. =p
Have a day off tomorrow, so I've decieded when mother gets her arse up to redditch she's gonna help me fill out my passport form and help me with the pics so I can send it off since the Russian company need it for January so I can apply for a visa. So I need to get it sent off soon. My pics gonna be reet funneh since I still have loads of blonde roots. I'll live in shame for a few more years to come. ._.
Caz posted this on ole myspace last night.
I'm not sure if it's by her or not but it's beautiful.
A Perfect Sonnet
Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing matters
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
Or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get
So you'll have to accept
You are here
Then you're gone
I believe that lovers should be tied together
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
Left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence
But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter
I've read all of the pages and there's still no answer
The only words before I know will soon come after
It’s the only way it can be.
So I stand in the sun
And I breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Seeing everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
Spend your whole life sweating in an endless fever
Laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost
But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summers
But autumn came
She disappeared
You can't remember
Where she said she was going to
But you know that she's gone
Because she left you a song
That you don't wanna sing
Singing: I believe that lovers should be chained together
Thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance
But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But still ended up becoming something other
Than what I had planned to be
Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And laid entwined together on a bed of clovers
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness.
