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Well my journal will have alot of random things as i type in it. sometimes i'll write down how my day went, or sometimes i'll just put my opinions on things that r goin on in the world. but today i'm gonna put in a poem that i wrote when i was bored in math lol sweatdrop xp .



Why?

Why am i still here?
Is it cause i live in fear?
In fear of losing him?
In fear of losing a friend?
No one said i had to stay,
But to me it's the only way
Of keeping it together,
My friend and me forever,
But why do i bother every day
With all his negative dismay?
Oh and all those insults that i dread,
And sometimes i think to myself...
I'd rather be dead-
Than to go through every day
With the healed heart of yesterday
To be torn again again...
So why?...



This poem is dedicated to a dear friend of mine. and even if the poem may make him seem like a jerk, he really means well....it's just for some reason we don't get along as we used to anymore. and i don't even know why...it's like i skipped a part that lead to this relationship. and some days i love him and most days i don't. and it kills me that he's a whole new person, but i still beleive that the old friend i love is still in there......somewhere. what kills me more is a part of me wants to beleive it, and the other part wants to give up. but he's my friend no matter what, so i won't give up! even if it means to be heartbroken in the end......cause nobody understands him like i do...or so he has said to me before..