WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
"IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat -
with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and
play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!
I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're
loose!!
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of
insanity is to leave a comment!
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if
they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
"IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat -
with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and
play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!
I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're
loose!!
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of
insanity is to leave a comment!
![~[Nedd]~](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/fc/78/f4dacfd2c78fc.png?t=1430104010_6.00_11 "~[Nedd]~")