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An Echo in the Dark
An aspiring novelist's deepest thoughts. Well, most of the time. Get them while they're hot people!
Sleeplessness
The time now strikes 2:10am
and here I lie in my bed,
awake for the world to see,
but suffering from within,
2:10am... and the clock ticketh onwards,
deeper into the night.

2:10am and yeah, I'm sitting here wide awake, been thinking over the last few hours about some things.... just.... yeah...
the feelings of despair have grown, the feeling that no matter how many people around me there are.... there are only a select handful that even care enough to try and understand me.... I know I scare some people... a complex crazy person desperately trying to hide behind a broken mask.
I dont know where I want to go with my life... and I am running out of time really to make that decision. I have no idea where I want to go.... for alot of people its easy... riches and fame... but I dont want that... I dont think..... *sighs and shakes her head, holding it between her hands*
There are days where it physically hurts to be held... even just online (..... like anyone has ever just held me irl..... )... but I cant tell anyone about it.... cause I'm afraid of it.... its like... half of me is crying out for it... but.... still...the rest... makes it painful... *Shakes her head again*
*needs to stop before she completely looses control...*
May doesnt know what is wrong with her... she was fine earlier.... but now... she's breaking again... but doesnt know why.....tiredness maybe.... but that is what comes from sleep deprivation..... 5 days.... havent slept very well.... if at all......so yeah.... past 5 days... gotten bout... 3 hours of sleep......
*stops herself*
I'll try to sleep now... but no promises... good night all......


Marion-san
Community Member
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  • [03/28/08 04:56am]
  • [08/09/07 08:12am]


  • User Comments: [5]
    ... you know... if you want to say something say it.... you shouldnt hold back... how will anyone truly understand whats happening if you dont tell them everything.. every feeling... sometimes loosing control isnt a bad thing? ... i dont know... in the same boat right now.... *holds close* sorry if that hurts... i wish i could make everything go away for everyone... but thats not posible... just know i love you may and im here..

    comment DoriRo · Community Member · Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 06:50pm
    ...*silent and tries to think*
    you know, there are alot of people that seek richness and fame, but as strange as it sounds, you're not the only one who doesnt seek that. *smiles* for me its easy and simple. First, find the one something that makes you complete. *still searching* Find the person you're truely meant to be in life (almost there! Im so close!) get the best out of life, love, seek that special someone *day dreams and shakes head*, maybe a family...sigh...*blinks* <_< strayed off again! *shakes head* uh, exploring, adventure...*takes a whip and a cowboy hat humming Indiana Jones theme*
    its so confusing...going from one world into the next. Trust me, i know. Well, I just got to keep telling myself Sonan Doko Nio Te. Heck! I may actually find those things! Maybe you will too!
    ...maybe im as lucky as to already taking the first steps there to getting those things. ninja ...but you can never be certain.
    Gotta love that about life! Its so...different! Its never the same. Each day is worth living for i think...even the miserable ones. *laughs* Hopefully you'll feel better. *smiles* plus sleep wouldnt hurt *hypnotizes self with yo-yo* uh oh, not again!....zzz *slumps over*

    comment Surfer-Yves · Community Member · Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 08:29pm
    but I've held you IRL... well....when you let me...I just wish I could it now... well *hols close* heart
    I miss you allready (so does Kelly)... well we all do and I hope you are safe hun...no more car recks ok... sad heart
    well hun I just wanted to let you know that, I do really love ya even if you fell like no one does ok, always have for 7 YEARS 3nodding heart heart heart heart heart
    well I should get going to work ok, but I love ya and I want ya to be safe, because you are now like 8 states from me now ok sad
    wee...*huggles you tight*
    I love ya as a Gaian Mom to May, and A Best Friend to JEni heart heart sad heart heart heart heart

    comment cajunsong · Community Member · Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 10:17pm
    I love ya hun! don't be sad!!! sad crying pwees? no sad? sad crying *hugs* i'm here if ya need me heart

    comment AmiliaBlack · Community Member · Wed Jan 05, 2005 @ 06:50am
    You know I'm here for you May. I am always here. And if I can com eover for your birthday I'll hold you close everynight and kiss you on the forhead makeing sure you had the best day. I promise I will make you happy and laugh if I can get there. If you have any problems you just yell it out to me. I can handly it if you get angry at me. Trust me, I have a lot of angre and takeing it out on ryan (since he doesn't mind one bit) makes me feel better inside and out. But I also have another suggesstion. A friend told me bout this a few months ago. Shes eouropen and all. But anywho. She said to wake up real early in the morning, at liek 4 or 5ish and just makes a real nice warm cup of tea. and then sit someplace. on the roof or in a chair or anywhere your confy and just relax and cry... cry everything thing out. I know it sounds silly. It did to me whenshe first told me. But it works. Iv done it time to time when I had too. I felt better after words. And the tea relaxed me a lot. so ya. If you think that might work if you don want to i wont force ya too. -drinks her own tea before she goes to bed.- Tea is good. relaxes you. If ya dont get none there. I'll send ya some. I want ya feeling warm and cozzy inside and out. I love you may no matter how you look or how you sound. I love you because your a careing sweet cute person with brains. Not crazy in my eyes.

    comment Lara The Bunny · Community Member · Wed Jan 05, 2005 @ 07:10am
    User Comments: [5]

     
     
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