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Well.. I did it. I told him. I finally summoned the guts to explain to Mathew how I feel... but now, now.. now I feel like total and complete s**t, while at the same time my heart is flying high above the clouds. Why you ask? This is the story..
Okay, first of all.. I met this one guy Sunday, Sunday, and he has the ******** balls to come up to work and ask me out (this all happened yesterday- Tuesday). It really, really pissed me off.. and not only that, it affected Mathew, which hurt even more. So I had to clear up that mess.. or attempt to. At least I had the help of someone else who has been guiding me through this. *Sighs.* Anywayz..
At around 10:00.. I finally managed to find the guts to go up to Mathew, and give him a letter/writing thingy.. he read it, and it continued from there. We were both talking, explaining to each other how we felt, so on and so forth. Come to find out, he felt the same way about me. *Squeals.* That really.. oh I can't even begin to put it into words. It was simply amazing. But- at the same time.. I found myself totally devastated.
You see, he is 21 years old, and I'm only 16. It's understandable right there why it wouldn't work out. He told me that morally, it's perfectly fine with him- that he would want nothing else but to get closer to me. But then again, he said that legally, we're talking about prison time. He trusts me, but there's always that chance. Plus my parents.. >< He told me that if I were his daughter, he would kill the man that I'm with.. ^^;;; So yah.. lol.
But still.. we're going to take it slow. Friends at first, yah know? He told me that if we can be friends for a year- hang out, laugh with eachother, and simply have a good time, then he would know where things would go next. So, I suppose that I simply have to wait until then.... and till I'm eighteen years old... >.>;; *Sighs.*
I came home last night a little bit later then usual.. and my dad was standing in front of the door. This is what he said, and my responses as well:
"What time did you get off?"
"About 9:00."
"From now on, you come home right when you get off, understand?"
"Alright." And by this time, I could tell that he was extremely pissed.
"Why are you wearing his jacket?" Btw.. Mathew said I could hold onto his jacket again. XD
"Because he let me borrow it." At this point, I was on the brink of tears. I knew where things were going to lead.
"Why are you wearing his jacket??"
"Because he let me borrow it."
"He's too old for you. Grow up and start acting more responsible!"
I was gone from the room at the end of his sentence.. crying. I went into my room, locked the door, turned on my music, and cried. Parents just don't understand. I realize that I'm too young to date him, but you can't help who you develop feelings for! You can't help it dammit!!!! *Sighs.* Maybe I'm overreacting.. but I'm just trying to defend myself I suppose.. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and what not.. why can't they learn that? TT___TT
I dunno.... anywayz.. the whole point of this, I confessed, was overwhelmed to discover that he felt the same time, and crushed at the same time when I realized that it wouldn't work out, and that my parents are set on destroying my feelings for him... so yah.. life ******** sucks some times, all the while it can be filled with sensational, undescribable emotions. XD
But.. despite what everyone says... I'll be right here waiting for Mathew.. for when I'm old enough and we can become a couple. XD
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy!
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
-Richard Marx "Right Here Waiting"
 Broken Advent Child · Wed Dec 29, 2004 @ 08:32pm · 2 Comments |
