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Thing seem chaotic, no ARE chaotic. Matt was supposed to come back, however there making him stay at the base for the holidays. He will not be around which depresses me because while he is a lil older then me by about 4-5 months not exact mind you. I look upto him and I love him, he is one of my brothers. The world is a chaotic maelstrom, dragging us down to drown. I have been feeling so alone lately. I wish to hang by my neck...I can't though because people still need me, maybe when I am no longer needed (which is soon I hope) I can go off and die like I should have so long ago. I know of a few people in real life who use Gaia, if they found out about these writings they would try and help me, exposing myself on two fronts. Already once I have almost blown my facade for them....I just do not wish to pester anyone I know with my problems..Because then I would be a burden, and if I ever become a burden I want to be killed or kill myself. I can accept some help, yes, but not too much...I guess I maybe somewhat Insane... of course I still have my dreams so I haven't lost it yet all the way. Of course maybe this hope is what is driving me mad.
Song of The Day
Evanescence-Haunted
The Beatles-Elenor Rigby
 Azalin · Wed Dec 08, 2004 @ 12:36am · 2 Comments |
