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Nights like these I can't fathom being alone.
sitting here with nothing but my thoughts jabbing and poking around in my skull.
and I miss you some, remembering good times and forgetting the bad. This makes me sick, for all the years we lived together and even more so the years I've been apart from you, I still realize you manipulate me.
whether intentionally or not, ive become subject to periodic torment from your imprint on my person. I can't stand that weakness I harbor. more importantly the screwed up nature ive let develop on my own, unable to blame you really, i let this happen all by myself.
It's even worse that i want to connect, to reach out my hand again and touch yours, see your face. look at your children and not feel angry or resentment. but its a cold hollow chill that curves with my bones and flows with my blood...
I don't want to hate you, i don't want to be this way, i only want peace. Peace of mind that you're okay and that i will be okay.
Signing out ,
AR
 Static Sludge · Tue Mar 25, 2014 @ 04:40am · 0 Comments |
