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since im really wound up (have been for like the past week or whatever. might've been a month already i really have no clue anymore) im going to start with fb!!
thanks to a little push in the right direction from stef (lol got me to actually look at other peoples friends xd ) i found like a lot of people from here. was pretty awesome xd well besides aero......*shudder* have to remember not to look at his pic (no offense to aero or anything, just looks a lot like someone......) anyways, kinda cool to have all their fb's.

damn. i still cant believe i've been talking to them for like 7 months!! (well 5 1/2 for d, but we'll count him up with everyone else rofl ) 7 months........damn. wonder if its the attachment or the emotions causing me the pain now........lol well i know a few things i know that are causing me pain, just like i know a few things that are causing the guilt, but with both theres 'extra'. i have pain and guilt that i cant place. i cant figure out where those parts come from. i've been ripping things apart in my head and trying different scenerios trying to figure it out but i havnt found anything........real damn annoying. lol i'll never know if im having a heart attack if this continues. unless the pain is a heart attack......hmm......that'd be scary eek

gah. already im finished. cant continue. its getting harder and harder to talk.....im also getting worse. wonder if the depression is starting to win our siege war.......that'd be hell. dont know if i could handle depression with my all my emotions entact, nor survive a second round with my mum........