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What do you do when you've lost all you had? Not material things, but talents, abilities that you can use for comfort. All I've got is my video games and TV. I can smash the hell out of the bad guys in Paper Mario or laugh at Nigel and his badly timed jokes on Crossing Jordan, but it's only temporary, momentary, lasting until the instant is over. Then the pain comes back, worse than ever. The song Tourniquet comes to mind right there.
Who's to blame? Serba, who never did anything to hurt me that I didn't start? Me, for just being a jackass and pushing everyone away as hard as I can? Someone else? I vote for me, because I'm the one screwing up. I'm all alone all because I'm too scared to go up to someone and start a conversation.
So huzzah. Round one, ding! Life-100 Sara-0 My only advantage, my greatest disadvantage: I remember. I always remember. Stupid details, like a heart-breaking sentence. The most painful things: a baseball bat to the head, a hockeystick to the leg, a sophmore on my ankle. Good stuff flies right out my mind. Just ******** it all.
"Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams."
www.matmice.com/home/sad_angel
Is there sadness in a look? Is there lonliness in a smile? Is there anything besides pain in store for me?
~nepie
 nepie · Mon Mar 20, 2006 @ 06:51pm · 0 Comments |
