Dear Sennyo,
It was around 1:50 AM today that I began to cry. It was surprising really, it truly truly was. Believe it or not, but it was because of /p//vier-chen. It was a baw thread, and there was... well, here's the picture.
I was looking at his expression, as the poster had said that "This kid's face really gets me"
And I started crying, thinking back to the funeral, and then back to Friday C-day the seventeenth of September, the day after he had died. Trying to control my feelings and falling apart instead. I feel my eyes watering, although nothing spilling now. I cried for about five minutes, my chest quivering.
On Monday I recieved Ross' card. I jumped around with glee as I oened the mail box to find it. It was after mother-person drove away with first sister to do something. I opened it up when I went inside the house. It had nothing to with Christmas. It really as just a piece of paper of randomness. Nothing about his feelings towards me. Things about how he was wondering how to present to ruby about being a mod. How his hand was cramping and that the pencil was writing too late, and how he was wondering why $ prefixes while cent suffixes, and how he knows that prefix and suffix weren't verbs, but that he was using them as such anyway. Signing it as his username.
Nothing.
Some dreams aren't meant to be true. For Christmas I will be getting three lolita items, but do I really want them? I was enthused to be looking at them online and choosing them, but still... happiness, I've found, cannot be put into a box, in my opinion at least.
I was looking at more pictures in the baw thread, and came across one featuring Calvin and Hobbes.
Perhaps that was a leading cause of death for you...
I don't really know any more.
It's Christmas Eve, Sennyo, almost two years, you know?
See you around.
[End Log] 2:35 AM
