Like everybody else, I cry rarely of stress, frustration, confusion, fear. But on the rarest occasions do I cry of sadness. I can count the instances on one hand.
One of those, most recently and still quite effectively, being a small part of Haibane Renmei. She finds the crow's bones laying in the bottom of the well and talks to it for a few minutes.
This person turned into a bird just to fly over the wall. Just to let her know that she wasn't alone. The bird died wanting nothing but for her to know that. If I were any character from the whole of that cast, I would be that bird.
Whether it sounds recklessly suicidal or not, ending my life for such a small reason, for somebody that is precious to me, I would do.. I wish, someday, I could meet somebody worth that. It's a big part of my nature. It always has been. Go through great pains to make somebody happy, even if only for a short moment. Even if they don't thank or care afterward.
I don't know why this part of me makes me sad. And I don't know why I am this way to begin with. It's not very beneficial to me, after all. I suppose it doesn't matter.. In the end, this is one of the very, very few things that actually pulls a sound out of me when I cry.
For what it's worth. I don't display this little part of me easily. It's something I wouldn't tell anybody I ever knew in real life. - ❀ -
edaaz · Wed Feb 18, 2009 @ 07:33pm · 0 Comments |