Sometimes I feel new..and innocent..sometimes, more often than not when I actually think about it, I feel used. I don't often think about these things, but sometimes it just happens. That's what I feel. So I wonder sometimes if I'm one of the only people who actually feel at once dirty and vile with a desire to be purified. But then, naive, too naive to be dirty or vile. Ignorance is a state of purity, and sadly it's a state that I possess on regular occasion.
I know that I'm not the only one to have these thoughts, I don't think that I am alone in that aspect, in fact, I think that I have a rather large company, just none that I personally know of.
If I could bleed the filth from my veins without breaking my word to anyone, I would. Maybe then I could go back to an innocence that wasn't worth losing outside of receiving my daughters from it. I don't ever wish that they never existed, I love them too much for that. I just wish that I could have been with someone that I actually was in love with. Not just loved, was 'in love' with.
Yes, I'm a sentimental fool in the fact that I want love so my cynical romantic brother says. He says that I should just give up, that I'll never find it. Why am I unloading onto this? Because it makes me feel better. It lets me talk to something, release on something without actually bending anyone's ears so that they can be annoyed with me, or frustrated. I don't like making myself a burden on others.
My brother claims that I'm pure 'in the ways that really matter'. Somehow, I don't see it, but I'll take his word for it if that's how he sees it. I see myself as a pile nothing...not even s**t..just nothing. I remember someone calling me 'open and exposed'...which I guess is a good thing at times..but it also leaves me very vulnerable..
Yes, this is my little emo entry for the month.
Did a quiz that I did a while back for my journal, got the same outcome:
You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.
"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."
Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.
As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
