Translation:
Jan: "Ah-Uhm... can you hear me? Hello, to those who are attending the round table meeting! Can you hear me too, Hellsing, you ******** b***h whore? We are called the Valentine brothers! I'm the younger brother Jan. Nice to meet you!"
Note: There is bleeping!
jan2.mp3
Translation:
Jan: "I'm not just going to kill that b***h. I'll ******** her, and ******** her, and ******** her dead body over again!"
Note: There is also bleeping in this one!
yanbo.mp3
Translation:
Jan: "Yanbo (and)"
Seras: "Uhm..."
Luke: "Luke's"
Seras: "Hey!"
Luke and Jan: "Weather forecast."
Seras: "Wait!"
Luke and Jan: "Next week, at Hellsing there will be a bloody rain."
Seras: "WTF? I don't understand!"
yanbo2.mp3
Translation:
Jan: "Yanbo (and)"
Luke:"Luke's"
Luke and Jan: "Weather forecast."
Luke: "We messed up, didn't we?"
Jan: "We did mess up ... bro, what's that on your head?"
Luke: "Kya... You yourself are burning."
Jan: "D'oh!"
English
05: Brotherhood
annoy.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: So you won't believe what he did next, man! It's true ******** up! After he ran solo's bar out of business he ******** pouched all the girls from his place man! So like solo totally ******** snaps!
Luke: Oh shut up!
Jan: Bro?! What's wrong with you, man, hey?
Luke: You always get so annoying before work. I've said it before, I know I'll probably say it again, please learn to work quietly!
Jan: Yeah yeah I've heard all that before, I know...christ.
ghouls.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: Jesus christ, you suck! You all ******** suck! But as long as I keep killing and keep drinking, whatever works is cool! Killing Hellsing, killing whatever! ******** it man, I'll just kill 'em all!
jantalkluke.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: If Britz is the traiter, why don't we just cap him?!
Luke: Don't be so stupid, Jan.
Jan: What?!
Luke: The police arrested Britz last week.
Jan: He got busted? Man that's a mind ********.
oldpeople.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: What to do? Old people's blood taste like s**t but it's no ******** fun if I just shoot you. (chuckles)
screwup.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: Screw up?! That's never gonna happen, bro! This s**t's going to be a cake walk.
telephone.mp3
Dialogue:
Man: Hello? God help me please! There's these vampires sucking everybody's blood! It's true! I'm not ******** around!
Jan: It's true. I'm not ********' around.
wargame.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan sad chuckles) Looks like we're gonna play some war games ay, bro?
weather1.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan:I'm Janny.
Seras: Excuse me? eh-
Luke:And I'm Luke.
Seras: Hey!
Jan & Luke: With the weather report.
Seras: Hang on!
Jan & Luke: Next week Hellsing will have a rain of blood.
Seras: Again, being silly.
whistle.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan sad whisles) Step it up, you demonic vampire bitches!
06: Dead Zone
b***h.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: Is this thing on? Aww right! This is a shoutout to all our listeners in the round table conference and a special hello to that whoring little b***h Miss Hellsing! Can you hear me? We are the Valentine brothers! I'm Jan Valentine and it's real nice to finally meet you. We appreciate you joining us for this late lunch. We are currently enjoying the delicious taste of the Hellsing membership.(sounds of men being eaten)
Integra: They're eating my people.
Jan: And while you're waiting for us to kill you, we highly recommend pissing yourself! Followed by a course of praying to your impetent God! Then cowering in the corner and begging, always good! But if you act now, there's still time for an ole' fashioned suicide! Thank you London! We love you! Good night!
cigar.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: Damn that is some ******** up s**t! Country with this much poverty and what does Miss b***h spend her money on? These ******** overpriced cigars! Don't you boys think that's pretty ******** up? Course you think it's ******** up! Death's too good for her. I'm gonna ******** that b***h, shoot her in the head and then ******** her there!
********
Dialogue:
Jan: Hmm? Aww yeah! Yeah! ******** yes! That's just what I wanna hear! I was getting so bored of these easy kills, pops!
gramps.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: s**t! You're ********, gramps!
Walter: I most highly recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impetent God.
hard.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan sad laughing) I am so ******** hard right now! We're smarter than you bitches and you can't stop us!
walkietalkie.mp3
Dialogue:
Luke: Jan, you there?
Jan: Hey man. This is Jan, captain and leader of the Hellsing killer unit, aww yeah.
Luke: Anything wrong?
Jan: Nah, nothing really but check this s**t, we got another undead sucker to worry about other than Big Red but she's like gone underground though.
Luke: I understand. I'll take care of that.
Jan: Hey, I've been working my a** off, bro. First and second floors are already clear. Now all that's left is to take care is that stupid little b***h and that old ********' geezer.
weather2.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: It's Janny.
Luke: And Luke.
Jan & Luke: With the weather report.
Luke: Hey didn't we lose?
Jan: We sure did. Hey bro what's that weird thing eating your head?
Luke:Ahhh...and you're on fire.
wstalk.mp3
Dialogue:
Jan: End of the line, Alfred.
Seras: Are you alright, Walter?
Jan: Oww, oww! That hurt! Get off me you stupid b***h! s**t, just take your ********! You're not human either! God dammit! Get off me!
Walter: Out of practice, but un scaved. That was quite the good tackle, by the way.
Seras: Oh! Well, I used to be a cop you know.
Walter: Now my boy. It's time for some answers, alright? Why did you try to attack us so braisently and who handed down the order?
Jan: You ain't gettin' s**t from me, man!(screams)
Sphinx of Akhenaten Community Member 
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